Yeah but it's a whimsical nihilism

You say staying alive out of spite like it's a bad thing

Once again, no biting of the homeowners that is my job

Don't think of it as a cubicle. Think of it as a starter coffin.

Never underestimate the power of positive persuasion *grabs hammer*

I have neither the space nor the time for your continuum.

i was a re-gifted kid

If I ever go missing, thank fuck.

So, my last post did not get a lot of engagement, can you guys tell your wives to let you like my stuff again?

RFK JR Announces He Will Just Go Door-To-Door Killing People To Save Time

A painting sketch i did today, 16 min

One person’s nothing is another’s everything

butthole skeets, but make em fancy

if you use a british accent and pronounce the th as th it can take up to ten minutes for them to figure out you're talking about your hairy butthole

I need to eat something. Edibles, ibuprofen, and tea are not food....but it's fixing whatever is broken.

You might think you remember correctly, but what if you're wrong.

Well that was fun with a capital i beg to differ

It's more of a controlled violence, really

Don't even talk to me until i've had my pre-post-mortem

Lena Olin wearing a bowler hat

Lena in!

😅

* getting very upset *

This isn’t canon!

hitman: how about i take you out tonight

his wife: what

My body is not a temple but a Burger King that is connected to a gas station.

Create an alt? So make another place where everyone still hates me? no thank you

Mars’s hot minion is return’d again

The most unrealistic thing about space ships in modern sci-fi is how they’re never miswired or have parts put in backwards.

Kings advisor: your kingdom sire? where did it go?

King richard III: *petting a horse* i call him janet

ME: I just got kicked off the jury at uncle Alan's trial.

MY MOM: It’s probably because you know him.

ME: [taking off my Chewbacca costume] Probably.