Emmet-oh

They’ve been taking titles off that spiv for years…his many has he got??

Why do American politicians always have a queue of musty mute dickheads behind them at press conferences?

To be fair you'd cheat on Lily Allen too, by David Harbour

808 STATE CUBIK

35

Just like you won't pay for porn, I won't pay for news

Roger Stone is how Art The Clown from Terrifier gets around when he’s incognito.

Hey Mitch, see you in the fall!

Headline reads: Altman says ChatGPT will soon allow erotic for adult users.

You gently run your hand through the rack. You can feel it—pure cotton, rich wool, Irish linen. The plump buttonholes are handsewn; the buttons attached with a firm shank. You flip the price tag over. It's affordable

You buy the jacket and go home, which is only 15 mins away. Your apt is $600/month

You hit 40, and it do be like that. I listen to more Beatles than I have in my entire life.

a cartoon of two spidermans standing in front of a nypd van ALT: a cartoon of two spidermans standing in front of a nypd van

Turn up to ICE protests dressed as ICE

He had all the goodwill and then churned out crap for 12 years. Pardon me for not queueing up for this one.

few ideas have damaged the average psyche more than ‘the customer is always right.’ it should be a little bit humiliating, being a customer. you should walk into any service transaction knowing that the other person, and not you, is in control over whether you get your treats

The Shining is booooorrrring.

I tapped that ♥️ so hard my finger is stuck in my phone.

John Hammonds, the lot of em!

Why doesn’t the Chicago National Guard just fight the Texas National Guard?

Helen Mirren and Satnav

Kemi chatting shit

We're all trying to find the guy who did this

a man wearing glasses and a leather jacket says yeah yeah but your scientists were so preoccupied ALT: a man wearing glasses and a leather jacket says yeah yeah but your scientists were so preoccupied

*Clones a platoon-worth of Shane Gillis

This dude is corny as fuck, you don’t issue a press release like you’re the United Nations, you deal with it in a respectable way by taking cocaine

At 14, I thought Denis Leary was a comedic genius; at 16 I listened to Bill Hicks and a sinking realisation was felt.

Wisdom. If I delete this app, I’m going back to writing letters to the editor.

Landed first time, and you know what, might have been the smoothest touchdown I’ve had on Ryanair 😆 the bit before was a bit hairy. Saw a few pullouts at Dublin tho 😬

a man in a blue sweater is smiling and says i like you but you 're crazy Alt: a man in a blue sweater is smiling and says i like you but you 're crazy

To the Ryanair pilots that just flew through Storm Amy:

I am 35 minutes into Terrifier 3. Jesus Fucking Christ

President Hans Gruber

I cannot wait for this next once-in-a-lifetime crash.

Yes.

A kitchen appliance you purchase, what, once a decade, every two decades, is making New York unaffordable? Lol.