xe;A 🙃

All of them are *chef’s kiss*, but if I have to choose, it’s gonna be 3 dawg

Thanks for joining my writer’s room

Nope, I was right the first time 🏃🏻‍♂️‍➡️😅

Sorry, the exit is actually this way👈🏻🚶🏻

Does anyone else ever get sad or depressed and never want to look at or touch themselves again? Then minutes to days later, you wail on yourself in disgust and self-loathing? No? Just me? I’ll see myself out 🚶🏻‍➡️👉🏻

I’m the funny kind of horny. (Is that anything?)

w/o downloading anything new- where are you mentally?

Guys, I’m 30 and I still don’t think they like me. Did I fuck up?

Much like my offline life, the silence was deafening. Heard chef. Hit them DMs if you’re interested. This is an unsolicited dick pic free zone ✊🏻(there’s a chance it might also be a solicited dick pic free zone).

I mean… 👀🤚🏻

Wait for you to make the first move. But I’m too autistic to realize so it might take a few times. And even then there’s an 80% chance I still won’t get the hint 😏👉👉

Okay chat, anyone want to see my d!ck?

I want to share their new album with you, but I’m afraid you’ll think of someone else when you hear it

What would be the best way to do so?

I would probably make you laugh by trying to show you confidence 😔

Anyone else decide to paint their nails at 8:30 PM in their barely-lit living room? Didn’t turn out as bad as it could have.

Do you ever just want to be soft, but the state of the world means you have to stay hard? Me neither lol 😜#itsahardknocklife #forus #hashtag ###

Yes, hello, horny police? I’d like to turn myself in. Better yet, scratch that, I’m just gonna jump in the lake with my cinder block floaties ✌🏻

Anything really as long as it ends with you doing that on my face 😏

(which has been ever present, mind you) has how surpassed any dopamine your phone can provide and you make your way to the bathroom where you pee (no lie) for no less than 45 seconds straight (multiple times thinking you were almost finished)…
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☝🏻

(5/5)
(Is this format funny?)

You also realize you need to pee, but the urge to pee—the relief, the dopamine, the serotonin—is not stronger than what social media is currently providing. So you continue to scroll Instagram, then Threads, then Bluesky. After an amount of time you cannot fathom, the urge to pee (4/5)

You are now hyper focused on scrolling Snapchat reels. You scroll for an unknown amount of time and the dopamine starts to wear off. Surely, now you can get back to making a list of things you need to do today. But what’s this? An Instagram notification? Let’s check this out.(3/5)

you pick up your phone to make a list of things you need to do today. However, when you pick up your phone, you notice you have a Snapchat notification, so you decide to check it out first (seems harmless enough). This is when the Adderall kicks in. (2/5)

Put a finger down challenge ✌🏻:
Put a finger down if you’ve ever woken up, it’s mid morning, you sit up and take your meds (like a good neurodivergent) and lay with your cat for a minute. Then, deciding you’re going to be productive, (1/5)

Hey chat,
It’s been a year. How do you get over a girl? #notforme #forafriend #joking #itspranks #chillvibes #dab #lol #notajoke

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2 😍🥵