John Moynes

I just stole Melania (2026) from the internet.

Then I immediately deleted it without watching it.

That'll teach 'em.

I could teach them, but I'd have to charge

Scientists still can't explain exactly how milkshake brings boys to the yard. Stupid scientists.

Sorry about this.

"History is a bunk bed." Gerald Ford.

Hey remember when Hitler was the go-to example of a politician with absolutely no idea how to fight a war?

Today's youtube promoted video is a "documentary" about the making of a Battlefield Earth audio book. For fuck's, and I cannot stress this enough, sake.

None of this would be happening if they'd brexited about 4% harder.

A piece of felt being cut by scissors.

Felt cut, might delete later.

Thanks.

There's a hilarious error at the start of Star Wars where it says "A long time ago" even though it's science fiction which is in the future. A lot of nerds are going to be VERY embarrassed when they hear about this.

Glasgow Central Fire Sparks Travel Chaos Across the UK A major fire beside Glasgow Central has shut Scotland’s busiest station, triggering nationwide disruption and raising urgent questions over UK rail resilience.

Awful news about Glasgow Central, I'm still hoping the station itself escaped serious damage.
But while we're here, can anyone spot the problem with the news photo below, from thetraveler.org/glasgow-cent...?
We've really got to STOP using AI to fake things.

A piece of felt being cut by scissors.

Felt cut, might delete later.

Did you miss Boris Johnson's column in yesterday's Mail?

Yes, yes I did.

AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN

Fears and could are strange word choices.

Ah, right. Thanks for filling me in. This all passed me by.

Spermophile

What is it?

This International Women's Day, please remember that trans women are women. Full stop. No qualifiers.

We're not having that for breakfast.

I am of Ulster. The well will never run dry.

I'm running low on outrage these days, but I can go one more round.

Irish Americans have finally had an idea that is worse than the Hunger Strike Commemorative Plate. And yes, that was real.

He didn't even use a vehicle.

Scene is a suburban street. A green RANGE ROVER is parked on the kerb. We see two men approach it. We'll call them MAN 1 and MAN 2. MAN 1 [showing Man 2 the Range Rover] So yeah here it is 59,000 on the clock Nice racing green MAN 2: Looks lovely MAN 1: It's got the heated seats, auto headlights [Man 2 looks in the front seat] MAN 2: Really nice [man 2 now opening the back door] MAN 1: Reverse camera, air quality sensor Leather upgrade - MAN 2: What's that? MAN 1: What  MAN 2: There's something on the back seat there  [we now see what he is looking at on the back seat. it is the tiny, shrivelled, calcified form of ANDREW MOUNTBATTEN WINDSOR, claw-like hands laced, his tiny body all grey, his hunted eyes glowing red] MAN 1: I can't see anything. MAN 2: You've got Andrew Mountbatten Windsor MAN 1: That's just light wear MAN 2: It's not light wear mate, it's the former Prince  It's completely ingrained in the leather [he scratches disdainfully at the melted form of the royal wraith] MAN 2: Is this why you didn't show the back seat on the listing? MAN 1: It's a design feature. MAN 2: I've come down from Suffolk mate. [Ends]

My wife and I were out at a Thai restaurant last night and they had this TV playing a song and showing this image the entire time we were there. Two issues: I don’t know what this says and Google Translate isn’t helping, AND how is the little bunny listening to music on their headphones?

Happy International Women’s Day.

Some coeliacs prefer the term "gluten critical" but they're not fooling anyone.

We're all going on an Eoin MacNamee holiday.

He should of said it stronglier.