*smile spreading across my face as i read the litter genie instructions*

nothing here says i can't wish for more wishes

this is the blowjob the founding fathers intended to happen in the oval office

this is exactly the kind of political theory i'm looking for on social media

do you get to leave the room once you're president?

sagely reminding the kids in the dugout that every time the batter at the plate swings, you should be swinging your bat too, because we're all for one and one for all

if god loved this universe, the epstein files would've gone public in time to give us trump-clinton couples costumes for halloween

evergreen

bernie2036.com

it's possible that it's 10 years or 40 years or 100 years or 5 months too late

but i think it's also possible that it's not too late

maybe there's just enough time

for us to lift the pen

just enough time

for us to write

a different

story

the nuclear vibrations suggest that China is now very close to using quantum AI to resurrect Karl Marx...there is still time to stop them, but only if you fund our Strong, American grant proposal...

it's all about finding that balance (greed, depth)

big mistake to invent a game that's so physically harmful that players are incapable of playing a statistically significant number of games

i like how this implies that, for a glorious moment, biden was neither dead nor alive but a secret third thing (poop)

american football is the french bulldog of sports. barely functional, riddled with health problems, but still somehow endearing and you just can't look away

not le trash cheaux

neither and both. it's the same feeling humans have when they're raptured

i've been trying to think of easter eggs to write on the blackboard that's visible behind me in zoom meetings, and hbar*omega = mc^2 is absolutely perfect

not again...

they should stay there and wait to fight the hero, like a video game boss

in the good old days, flocks of DooDoo Ducks would darken the skies...

[brainwashing ASMR voice] that's right. let everything flow out of the tank. let the tank become totally empty. i flush, and the sharks flow down, down. they're circling around the bowl now...and...what's this they find? ...

this is how you build credit