M.M. Kaufman

Guess who is not getting published in The New Yorker? Me.
But guess who got a tiered rejection from The New Yorker? Also me!
#muchtoadmire 💅

I fucking love my writing friends.

I tripped and fell and wrote another tiny little poem. Where we sending those these days?

Southern Divide by M.M. Kaufman There are many ways To divide Southerners. I do it by those who hate Loud bugs and frogs, the Ones that leap and fly In the dark, and those, Like me, who enjoy them For the inability to get too…

really can't recommend strongly enough that y'all treat yourselves today to a wonderful M.M. Kaufman treat of a poem

"There are many ways
To divide Southerners.
I do it by those who hate
Loud bugs and frogs..."

https://www.havehashad.com/eikr1

New little paw-eem up at @havehashad.com
www.havehashad.com/hadposts/sou...

It’s here. My favorite thing I’ve ever written. Let’s go to the carwash!

You’ll never guess what my piece is about…

I made two strangers happy-cry (like fr) in my office today. So my work is done here. I think I can go home.

Got good news today for enthusiasts of both carwashes and my writing. Stay tuned!

a pink banner with the hex logo that says "submissions open 10 AM ET 9/5," lists recent contributors and awards, and includes a link to hex's submittable: hexliterary.submittable.com/submit

oh hi, we're opening for submissions tomorrow, Friday 9/5! 200 cap & we'll stay open until filled. mark ur calendars 👇

Also dying to know @ambersparks.bsky.social’s thoughts/feelings on the new film trailer.

The Modern Reader’s Cliff Notes to Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë—But Make It Hot by M.M. Kaufmann (Cathy sr. re Heathcliff)Is he hot or is he the only guy you’ve ever known who isn’t related to you?Is he hot or did your dad bring him home and you and brother mistook him for a dog?Is he hot or i…

I think I’m in the minority of diehard Wuthering Heights fans who are actually excited about Emerald Fennell’s new film. But maybe that’s because my only published poem is a cliff notes version of who and why everyone hooks up in the novel? 🤷‍♀️ 🥵 #hottake

jmwwblog.wordpress.com/the-modern-r...

Shout out to the birds that live around my neighborhood. Y’all sound real good today.

Thank you for sharing, Casey!

Um. Everybody... stop what you're doing and check out @mmkaufman.bsky.social's new banger "PLATEAUED"... up today at @poolpartymag.com 🔥🔥🔥

belt buckle featuring Slimer from Ghostbusters

wwwwwwwwwwell my buckle makes impressions on the inside of her thigh

Pulling up to yoga class blasting Rage Against the Machine because that’s where I’m at right now.

Are people aware of what flight anxiety is really like? What it’s about, the triggers, the origins, and how it presents? Do I need to put off my novel projects again to write a CNF piece about this plague?

Battling flight anxiety with a pre airport carwash.

There are just not enough people telling me on a daily basis that they wanna rock my Gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old.

elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire ALT: elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire

All it took was 2025 (and a whole lot of bullshit) to make me realize I’m a Rage Against the Machine girlie.

Road trip hair.

My new practice of subbing 1 piece to 1 magazine that I think it’s really, really right for is paying off. Got a 102 minute acceptance from @poolpartymag.com! Been wanting to sub there for ages, but waited until I knew I had something up their alley. Let’s go swimming!

This boujee coffee cost me one small organ and I shall take a sip every 15 minutes to make it worth it.

And no I’m not writing an existential think piece/memoirella on all the major Batman films, why would you even ask?

SIRENS: Season of the Seawitch Science Fiction Podcast · Series · This is a story about a machine. A big machine. A supercomputer the size and shape of an ancient pyramid. A device that runs the world from the secret recesses of th...

I am so incredibly proud of Travis Alexander for writing this amazing story and creating this serialized podcast SIRENS. And I’m even more honored to be a part of it. Check out ya girl Tabby popping in at episode 3!

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...

Anyone in the market for some emotions? I think I’m gonna start selling mine off to pay my student loans.

Anyone else find themselves thinking about Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie and muttering to themselves, Man, fuck that dude. Fuck all the dudes in that play. Just me?

Driving to work on a cloudy Friday morning wearing all black and singing along word-for-word to Joni Mitchell—watch out (emotional) world!

If fiction goes short story < novella < novel, can I call my cnf work-in-progress that is longer than the average essay but not a book a memoirella? Because I'm not actually asking and totally calling it that.

I really miss my Dad.