what we do with all that, i don't know. i hope that we all find some way to resist, to contribute to a larger, generalized resistance. general strikes. real, sustained protests. that hope is barely keeping my mind and spirit cohesive. I came here to build up that hope if I can. So, here's hoping.

this is not a facile 'it would have been better with them' take, but a simple observation of the obvious--this is a different kind and scope of fascist terror. and the difference in the impacts it is having on psyches and life chances are only just emerging.

Spillers has that line about the oft-told narratives' repetition doing nothing to dampen the shock of discovering their acuity over and over again; it is the outcome of a facile analysis to have believed and to continue to preach that this would be like that.

hiring back elez was terrible news amid terrible news. i sincerely doubt all the analyses and critiques anticipated the full shape and scale of all this. it's not enough to have said "ah yes, the dems did this, too, or already did some form of it, so why are you surprised" when even

crumbling psychologically. fighting, of course. but it's war within and war without, and it is a profound struggle. "it's not enough!" to understand intellectually that this state of being is an intended consequence of all this coup activity.

Our only hopes rest with each other, "the people," who must relentlessly push back against the tyranny of these horrible, deluded people and their goons. I understand that. I want to believe that if we fight, we can win. My heart stutters at the "if" and inserts an unsteady "how?" for good measure.