Lilith 🏳‍⚧

Strong. I hate dissapointing people. I don't want to anymore.

I study basic chores yet I always find a way to fuck up. I can't drive which is the only reason anyone needs me. I spent all my life gaming yet I suck at that too. And worst of all I suck at relationships too. I hate existing so much. The urge to just survive this week and then ending it is so

At this point I really don't even know anymore. I'll always not be enough, always lacking, unable to be loved. I quite literally suck at every moment of my life. Nothing I do is of any value to anyone. I am a definition of a waste of skin. And no matter what I do I can't change it lol.

I swear I'm gonna end it lol 😀

How come you can write sentences that are by far the most romantic I've read, yet you're unable to say a basic nice thing to me?

We are watching the secret lives of mormon wives and I feel so guilty because I feel as selfish as the guys in there. I hate it so much. I guess I am just overreacting and should just suck it up.

i put a razor on my desk. in case of emergency type of thing. unfortunately i am too much of a pussy to actually hurt myself lol, so it will be a reminder ig

i put a razor on my desk. in case of emergency type of thing. unfortunately i am too much of a pussy to actually hurt myself lol, so it will be a reminder ig

they flash online, could say, hey im alive but oh well...

i hate how twisted my mind is, i am just imagining a scenario where my partner is currently cheating on me, I sent them a message with just a quick "thinking about you" they open it, say oh it's my stupid gf and just go back to it. sure helps my mental.

I'm actually mad for the first time. I am so angry, envious and sad.

I don't even remember the last time we did anything romantic. I'd kill for a picnic date but too BAD,THEY FUCKING HATE ME

Love that they are on a romantic picnic date with their friend while I am here making myself all pretty even though they won't even look at me lmao

6th time I am absolutely bawling my eyes out, full on hysterical mode today

Why do they post stories and pictures with their friends but not me? I swear if I didn't know they are dating me I though they are dating their friend. (They wish)

why cant they just fucking tell me they hate me and tell me to fuck off already, why must they force me to go through this shit, i know i am a piece of shit but do i seriously deserve this like what the fuck.

the song literally talks about fucking that person i literally cannot lmfao, i swear i am gonna fucking do something to myself i just cant fucking deal anymore i literally just wanted to be happy and everything is fucking shit, fuck fuck fuck, this seriously broke me, i dont wanna see them anymore

They relate to a song that talks about loving someone who is taken. But tell me no it's not that anymore. Why do you lie to me. Why do you love anyone but me. Fuck. I hate it so much. I hate everything

Phone, then they'll take a shower, go to bed (preferably without telling me) then they'll read, turn around and sleep. This will go for three days then they'll tell me they can't wait for me to get out because I am annoying them and I'll take it like a good girl because I just love them so much.

We haven't seen eachother for over a week, we're supposed to seen eachother this weekend and I know how it will go, I have some snacks ready for them, they'll give me a smile, we won't hug we won't kiss, I'll ask how is everything going, they'll scream at me for talking, we'll spend the day on our

Months left, wonder if the time line will match. Guess this is all an elaborate scheme for me to pay for my past, which valid. I am suffering very hard thank you. Hehe hard.

It hurts seeing them be hurt over other people, I don't want them to hurts, but I also know if I left, they wouldn't be so sad. They prefer anyone but me. And that hurts. I'm not even a friend for them, i wish I know what I am to them. It took me a year to break up with my ex, so they have a few

And you wanna throw it away and push it to the side, but then that one time comes and damn is it convenient. I feel that way (except I'd be happier if they sat on me let's be real)((lmao literally about to end it, but still hella funny 😎) unable to sleep, unable to feel happy, I just exist. Sadly.

Convenient, I'll always be there. I'm like a chair you barely use, most of the time you don't know it's even there but damn does it come in handy when you need it. But you don't love it for that, you don't talk to it for that, it's just convenient sometimes. But most of the time it's in the way

About me is my car. I've asked them what they like about me and they don't know. They haven't called me pretty in forever. I'm so easy to please too, I swear if they called me a princess or pretty and cute every few days I'd be so happy. I've told them, they just don't want to. Because I'm

I miss them so much I cry over seeing a pic of theirs. I wonder if they even ever have a passing thought about me. I truly don't think so, I'm an after thought, something that will always be there that you don't have to think about. I'm convenient to have around, I think the only attractive thing

I'm so lonely. Lonelier I've been, I'd do anything for them knowing they wouldn't for me. And I just can't help but blame myself for everything.
I feel ugly, unloveable disgusting and stupid, I hate myself so much, I'd do anything for them to love me back. I hate it all.

My partner is the best person I know, they are the prettiest, most skilled nicest people there are, they just have one flaw. They don't love me. And damn that hurts... Worst thing is I know that for a fact. I have been in the same position as them in my past relationship. I wanna end it so bad

Aren't home and then they hit me with an I love you. I am so happy.

Also I'm using the air frier for the first time and nothing burned down yet.

So, my partner is really sweet, we really did fix it. I made them mad today cuz I tried helping but I'm stupid yet we got over it, then they were all cute telling me I eat so bad without them and that I'm silly (it sounds bad here but it was cute xd) then told me I am free to sleepover even if they