Matt

Not too bad, thanks!

Are Amber and Brad playing an 80s arcade game? #TheArchers

Feels like a lot of admin involved in this. If I were an angry gangster wanting revenge, I'd just stab him or write a strongly worded letter or something. #TheArchers

No. It's not something they ever release.

The Nobel Prize committee have the opportunity to do something truly hilarious and give the peace prize to Hilary Clinton.

It seems to be all sodding delivery companies. There's a real gap in the market for a delivery company who aren't shit at life.

Millionaire shortbread.

I never have.

It's basically a chutney. It's a mix of veg, brined then pickled. Normally cauliflower, beans, onions, courgettes. It has mustard and turmeric.

So how's this going to work then? Someone wants a Kit Kat and Susan springs into the Shopmobile? #TheArchers

"Are you two getting off?"
"What? No, we're just friends."
#TheArchers

Bath tub? I'm right, aren't I?

Happy birthday, my fellow Octoberling. All the best people were born this week.

Zac'ly.

Branston pickle is horribly sweet.

I guess it's not particularly sweet.

Surely structural pastry is going to be tough as old boots? #GBBO

My wife and mother in law are obsessed with it and insist I make it. I could take or leave it.

Connect Four. It's called Connect Four. #GBBO

Doesn't need a hole? Have these people ever heard of pie? #GBBO

Well, yeah, Paul... you ARE the older generation. #GBBO

You can't do a good piccalilli in the time they've been given. You just can't. #GBBO

Ahhh, I knew there had to be a logical explanation for why no one was liking my hilarious jokes...

You'd struggle to do anything of use, Mick. #TheArchers

I'm imagining a burglar in a black and white stripy top and mask, carrying a bag marked 'swag', sneaking behind Mick whilst he drones at Brad. #TheArchers

Adam is 'pretty cool'? Does Paul have a concussion? #TheArchers

A witch hat hunt? Or a which hat hunt? #TheArchers

I've watched two and given up. Bad acting, no plot, crap script, style over substance... only good thing is the soundtrack.

I was in Birmingham recently. Bleddy blast furnaces everywhere. Couldn't move for them.

I pre-ordered Lone Wolf and forgot about it, so it was a nice surprise and basically free. The runes one I just found in a charity shop and was interested.