Matt

Yes. Ursula von der Leyen gave Trump some magic beans for it.

Hey!

Are they showing Ed Reardon's episode?

Gordon Brown, texture like sun.

Congrats. Tell me, oh wise Fintan, how do I break to my wife of 10 years that earlier today I was approached in town by a gentleman who furtively passed me a note saying someone called God is in love with me?

Finally, he delivered the final line and handed the sword to my mother-in-law. Leaving stage to rapturous applause he turned to her and announced "Well I fucked that right up!"

One night, she was watching backstage waiting for her cue to take the sword. But something seemed wrong. The great actor was confidently delivering the speech but the lines seemed out of order.

One of her prop duties was to look after the swords. The main moment was after the famous St Crispin's Day Speech. Sir John would wave his sword about and then hand it to her off-stage at the end of the speech.

In the 1970s, she was a history student at Bristol Uni. To earn extra beer money, she worked in the local theatre in the props department. Once they had a run of Shakespeare's Henry V staring Sir John in the title role.

My mother-in-law just told me about the time she met Sir John Gielgud. So I shall share with you now:

No, I've not seen the first nine...

Why would you want to buy one? I try to avoid the weddings of people I know.

Hi.

Petition: Grant Cornwall nation status We urge the UK Government to formally recognize Cornwall as a nation, granting it equal status to Wales and Scotland. This includes devolved powers, cultural preservation, and official recognition of ...

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/71...

That was about what I thought. I think she mentioned being gen x once, which would mean she was born 1980 or earlier. #TheArchers

No, my wife freed me, thanks.

I really can't get a grip on how old Stella is supposed to be. Her cultural references seem to imply that she is somewhere between 35 and 60. #TheArchers

I'm 38 and I didn't do GCSEs. Though that says more about me...

Not listening but this is always relevant. #TheArchers

They didn't play all of Gay Bar and it was the sixth song they played. I know this because each song he introduced by saying "We've done 17 albums and 1000s of songs. This is song number x."

I saw them play live last year, and they were very good, but Dick Valentine very much gave off the heir of a man whose life hadn't panned out as he'd hoped.

I am... *dramatic pause* ... ALIVE!

I'm at a family wedding where my nephew has shut me in a cupboard. I played along with his game to entertain him, not realising I couldn't open it from the inside. If you're in Yorkshire, please send help.

It all felt very forced.

On any normal given day, I will wear one set of clothes. So why is it that whenever I go away, I pack an amount of stuff that would imply to the causal observer that I plan on violently shitting myself twice a day for the next week?

Highway to Hell - AC/DC
Man in the Box - Alice In Chains

In this analogy, I guess Chris will end up running Home Farm. #TheArchers

Brian is Logan Roy and Alice is Shiv. It's all going to go wrong. #TheArchers

Nope. Training is an hour to an hour a half, after which it's 10-15 mins per tree and you can do as many or as few as you like.