lucky!!!

okie doing better a bit now

punched my arm a lot n now its swollen and i fucked up a knuckle like legit has reduced range of motion and its purpling oopsie

walking to work and oncomjng traffic is so fucking tempting

i want to kill myself so badly rn

n e ways im perfectly set up timing-wise to take lax b4 our valentines date so ill be looking snatched af and sexy

so its looking very likely that im bipolar and i say this now bc im currently in a super fucking irritable phase and i just wanna cut so badly but i CANT because valentines is soon and even tho my gf knows abt my scars i will NOT subject her to fresh sh

ive been clean for a month and a half and its so unbearably strong right now oh my god im likehitting my head but i really wish i could do more

wrist pain going mega mode tonight

gotta track email collection at work now bc i don’t get enough and im gen struggling to not self harm rn over it

prepared some eggs last night, gonna use the marinade on some rice

im gonna practice feminine makeup over the next few days as my pre-shower fun so i can make her look pretty. i can do eyeshadow and stuff but contouring i almost never bother with and i dont wanna make her look weird. cause shes trusting me with this it needs to be good

LMFAO

It's funny how straight girl centric th1nsp0 quotes are. "So he can lift you~~" lmao I could be 40 pounds and my fiancé's twink arms still aren't lifting shit

locking in at least for now because:
1. ive gained a bit of weight
2. the lingerie barely fit me before, and probably wont at all now
3. i likely get to blow my gf on valentines, and i want to wear the lingerie during
4. i just want to

one awesome thing is we were cuddling/kissing a lot today and she said she might be comfortable enough for me to give her head on valentines!!!!! i wanna please her so badly

like i left work and hour early yesterday because i couldnt stop almost crying. bought her a plushie and gave it to her today and she loved it.

boyfriend is trans, i have girlfriend now which is so super awesome im genuinely so happy. i cried a LOT out of happiness and having general other stressors in my life

yall know what’s up

finally got lubricant for my treadmill so im taking a cheeky midnight walk before i head to bed

last two nights ive felt close to vomiting…. this morning i was starving to the point of nausea too. i hate it.

i stg power outages always happen when my devices are low battery

uhhh dont feel like finding a fave tspo for here but basically i like the idea of looking on the edge of pretty and sick. thigh gap is a must of course too

my atomach hurtsssds we had takeout for dinner

oops forgot yesterday.
Day 1: my stats are 140lbs 5’4
Day 2: im not too fond of my height i wish i was maybe just 2-3” taller, but i also dont mind very much either

not doing horribly irt food today. finished some chips, had a small lunch, dinner will just be a muffin and drink (high cals but oh well)

slept in a lot, played overwatch for like 5 hours right after getting out of bed. waiting for hot water so i can shower. probably gonna paint my nails tomorrow

little bit of pasta so im not braindead when bf gets here

its literally 2:30am and my boyfriend is coming over tomorrow AND im having other friends later oh my god i need to go to bed

i had TWOOOOO of those malibus!! idek how many cals they are ugh. tracked everything else and im at 1,000ish