Lin

also. if you wish to follow me and reconnect, I put my tumblr url in my bio. I'm 44 and still as awkward as I was when I was 14.

I'm so sorry to read about your baby. I remember how kind you were when my own gray face baby passed in January. I know I'm a bit late, but I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I just know she was so loved by you.

Also also me: It's not that deep. But also people are probably tired of your antics. But also it's not that deep. But also friends. But also

Me: I miss my buddies. I should go re-follow everyone.
Also Me: Lin that is a Bad Idea™️ Your dash was nothing but video games you aren't interested in and characters you don't care to know. Mutualship is so revered and you would feel guilty for not following everyone back that you followed before.

the circlejerking made me laugh out loud, but WOW is it obvious in certain parts. and the private vent accounts were nothing but toxic and negative. most of what's on the dash now is just like an extention of a discord chat. I began to feel like I was on the outside looking in.

whew. I feel all of this. I think I was part of the in crowd for a while, and it was really fun! I think I have also experienced a lot of changes in my personal life that contributed to my change of heart.

these are out of order, but the sentiment stands.

it's exhausting, and I truly hope that some of those folks find peace someday, because tumblr drama judt isn't worth the grief.

interest shifted. and then I was accused of racism (not once, but several times), there was speculation that I voted for the orange man. I got hate constantly for being old and having fictional crushes. I stopped having fun. not to mention, the constant subposting and vague posting among mutuals.

I really started to feel like an outsider after I deactivated back in November of last year. and it just never got better. It did for a while, but as much as I hate to admit, I think my age has a lot to do with my feelings of disconnect. life is busy. my family is priority.

being away from the side of tumblr I was part of has really opened my eyes to how toxic it really was. there is peace to be had. still miss a good majority of you, but i have never been able to breathe as deeply and not fear any slight misstep or risk having my words twisted or my values questioned.

Hi Friends,
For anyone here who had followed me on tumblr, I'm sorry for being so wishy-washy and inconsistent. I will not be sharing my url there anymore; I have stepped away from all things fandom (except red dead, ofc) and I won't be sharing any more private thoughts, either. Miss you, love you.