08.07.2025 17:03 — 👍 774    🔁 208    💬 6    📌 0

RFK Jr.: Vaccines No More Effective Than Drinking Horseshoe Crab Blood Straight WASHINGTON—Citing extensive research he had conducted on the matter, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a statement Friday claiming that vaccines were no more effective than drinking horseshoe crab blood straight. “Despite the lofty promises of pharmaceutical companies, there’s simply no evidence to suggest that vaccines provide more immunological benefit than […]

“Despite the lofty promises of pharmaceutical companies, there’s simply no evidence to suggest that vaccines provide more immunological benefit than punching a few holes in a horseshoe crab’s carapace and slurping its blood directly,” said Kennedy theonion.com/rfk-jr-...

27.06.2025 23:30 — 👍 3996    🔁 452    💬 132    📌 32

Democratic socialist candidate Zohran Mamdani defeated former Governor Andrew Cuomo in a stunning upset in NYC's mayoral primary last night.

Does his victory signify a sea change in U.S. politics? www.democracynow.org/2025/6/25/zo...

25.06.2025 14:48 — 👍 443    🔁 76    💬 26    📌 12

Be fully aware that if you resist Fascism by doing more than a clever sign at a permitted protest, these peace police liberals will be more than happy to be Fascist collaborators to turn you over to the cops they claim to protest. Plan accordingly.

31.05.2025 18:49 — 👍 16    🔁 4    💬 1    📌 0

Elon Musk Pushes Child Aside On Way To Escape Pods As Starbase Collapses

Elon Musk Pushes Child Aside On Way To Escape Pods As Starbase Collapses
theonion.com/elon-mu...

09.05.2025 18:00 — 👍 4039    🔁 420    💬 77    📌 27

Trump Boys Hook Dollar Bill Up To Potato To Make Cryptocurrency First Sons Plan To Mine Coin From Common Root Vegetable

Trump Boys Hook Dollar Bill Up To Potato To Make Cryptocurrency
theonion.com/trump-b...

09.04.2025 18:00 — 👍 4481    🔁 489    💬 72    📌 36

“I can’t wait to see the look on woke liberals’ faces when my kids go hungry.” Rick Jasko, Heirloom Bestower

U.S. Food Banks Struggle Under Funding Cuts
theonion.com/u-s-foo...

02.04.2025 20:30 — 👍 4991    🔁 660    💬 46    📌 30

Disappeared: U.S. Sends Venezuelan LGBTQ Asylum Seeker to El Salvador’s Version of Guantánamo A legal battle is continuing between the Trump administration and a federal judge over the president’s invocation of the 1798 Alien Enemies Act to expel over 130 immigrants from the United States to...

Disappeared: U.S. Sends Venezuelan LGBTQ Asylum Seeker to El Salvador's Version of Guantánamo

20.03.2025 16:30 — 👍 215    🔁 112    💬 6    📌 17

This Obviously Aliens’ First Abduction HOMEDALE, ID—Citing the beings’ conspicuous lack of proficiency at even the most basic tasks and their general air of confusion, local man Travis Porter, 31, reported that his abduction Wednesday night was clearly the aliens’ first. “After they pulled me aboard the ship, they all just kind of stood around for a while looking at each other—it was obvious that none of them even knew where to start,” said Porter, who explained that the extraterrestrials then spent at least 15 minutes fumbling with their laser restraints until they were finally able to pin him down to the examination surface. “On the way back we completely overshot Earth, and then they had to circle around the planet a few times trying to find the spot where they picked me up. Honestly, I felt kind of embarrassed for them.” Porter added that, given their utter incompetence, he wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if the alien larvae they implanted in his brain stem never matured and chewed their way out.

This Obviously Aliens’ First Abduction
theonion.com/this-ob...

15.02.2025 19:00 — 👍 880    🔁 41    💬 7    📌 2

Getting ready for my trip to London. I leave in about a week. I'm so excited. :)

29.01.2025 01:10 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores SPRINGFIELD, IL—Describing the items on the shelf as yet other example of the “woke nonsense” abetting the feminization of American men, local conservative Nick Schwab, 54, told reporters Wednesday he was outraged by the availability of tampons and other period products in men’s grocery stores. “This is fucking unbelievable—what if I’d had my son with […]

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores
theonion.com/conserv...

25.01.2025 17:00 — 👍 5889    🔁 575    💬 76    📌 32

HAWS was a success! Lots of people showed up to help and many items were given out.

25.01.2025 22:21 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Do you still like tomato adjacent things like pasta sauce and ketchup?

25.01.2025 03:45 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Table with toothbrushes, toothpaste, condoms, alcohol swabs, hand sanitizer, bandaids, and prepackaged food.

Table with winter gloves, hand warmers, masks, ponchos, and menstruation products.

Our Health & Wellness Station has supplies for whomever would like them -- no questions asked! We currently have a high demand for hand warmers, ponchos, condoms, masks, and first aid supplies. Our wishlist link is in the bio if you'd like to donate! 🙌

24.01.2025 17:35 — 👍 10    🔁 5    💬 0    📌 0