Dave ( ᐛ )و

a two-panel image comprised of edited stills from Sam Raimi’s first Spider-Man film. in the first panel, The Green Goblin is lifting J. Jonah Jameson by the throat, while the newsman desperately says, “It’s a PNG, I swear!” in the second panel, a close-up of The Green Goblin reveals that he’s wearing a jpeg of a hat with a fake checkered ‘transparent’ background behind it, and shouting, “You’re lying!”

actually unreal how funny this image is

More of this, please. A LOT more of this, please.

mango tree 444 posts: What exactly does one have to do to merit first name basis mentions from Miriam Webster? merriam-webster: Spelling 'Merriam' correctly is the first step

*sitting down* damn, Dictionary got hands

What a wonderful idea…👇

Let’s. Do. This. ✨

[speed date]

HER: hi i’m-

ME: if a fish had sex with a duck would the baby be called a dish or a fuck

HER: what

ME: dish or fuck hurry please

this is the face of a man who is about to end the bird flu epidemic by eating every infected bird

Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to dwell on them until you lose the will to live

A screenshot of a Twitter/X exchange. Elon Musk (@elonmusk) tweets: "One of the first things Hitler did upon gaining power was apply aggressive censorship." The tweet has 1.1K replies, 1.7K retweets, 14K likes, and 346K views. Below, a user named "punished evan loves worf" (@eeesssjjj) replies with a single word: "cisgender." Below the reply, a notification from X states: "Visibility limited: this Post may violate X’s rules against Hateful Conduct," with a "Learn more" link. The interface follows X's standard dark theme, with Elon Musk’s profile picture showing him speaking on stage with an American flag in the background.

Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🐆🥣😳 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

➡️ January 20: FAA director fired
➡️ January 21: Air Traffic Controller hiring frozen
➡️ January 22: Aviation Safety Advisory Committee disbanded
➡️ January 28: Buyout/retirement demand sent to existing employees
➡️ January 29: First American mid-air collision in 16 years

Making America Great Again!

They shall henceforth be referred to as swasticars by me too. 😂

👇👇👇👇

My wife & I choose our kids' names based on what's popular at the time. Like our daughter Alanis and our son Iraq War

give me coffee for the things i can change and a sledgehammer for the things i can’t.

I could accept everyone becoming dumber if we were also becoming nicer (golden retriever-fication) instead of getting more evil

Two stacked images from an online baseball cap advertisement. In the top we see a person with ten days beard growth looking back toward the camera, they're standing in the woods partially obscured by foreground leaves and wearing a red flannel shirt, black baseball cap with some writing on it. The ad copy reads "WILD STYLE This is a gender free hat. It is very easy to match clothes and is suitable for any occasion." Bottom image: same model, half their head in frame on a white backdrop, they're holding the brim of the hat while looking toward the floor. We now see the hat reads" Bigfoot is really and he tried to eat my ass" alongside an embroidered Bigfoot

Suitable for any occasion

Software catalog Fall 1991

Bring back software that makes me feel like any of the people in this photo

DO:DO🌿

Image of a large galaxy on the right, with two smaller companion galaxies to the left. The large galaxy is ring-shaped, with an oval outer ring, and a small, off-center oval inner ring. The rings and space between are lit with blue plumes and dots. The companion galaxies to the left, one above the other, are much smaller than the main galaxy, and about the same size as each other. The galaxy above has similar coloring and many of the same features as the large ring galaxy, but more of a disturbed s-shape, with no distinct rings. The galaxy below is brighter with a whiter tinge. It has a diffuse spiral shape with a white core similar to that of the ring galaxy, but with a smoother texture. The background is full of more distant, orange-red colored galaxies of various shapes and sizes.

At the center of the image is a horizontal orange cloud known as Herbig-Haro 46/47 that is uneven with rounded ends, and tilted from bottom left to top right. In the middle of this cloud is a yellow-white blob with 8 reddish pink diffraction spikes piercing through it. The left lobe of the cloud is thicker. Just off the edge is a tiny red arc that curves in the opposite direction. The right lobe is thinner, and ends in a smaller orange semi-circle that has a faint purple outline. Just off the edge of this lobe is a slightly smaller orange sponge-like blob. A delicate, semi-transparent blue cloud known as a nebula drifts toward the top of the image and peters out toward the left of the frame. Toward the right and bottom, the nebula ends in a soft ridge set off in a translucent orange. The background is filled with stars and galaxies. Two foreground stars with blue diffraction spikes, seen in the bottom right corner, are especially prominent.

A field of galaxies on the black background of space. In the middle is a collection of dozens of yellowish galaxies that form a foreground galaxy cluster. Among them are distorted linear features, which mostly appear to follow invisible concentric circles curving around the center of the image. The linear features are created when the light of a background galaxy is bent and magnified through an effect called gravitational lensing. A variety of brightly colored, red and blue galaxies of various shapes are scattered across the image, making it feel densely populated.

Red dual opposing jets coming from young stars fill the darker top half of the image. At bottom center is a glowing pale yellow, cave-like structure, its top tilted toward two o’clock, with a bright star at its center. The dust of the cave structure becomes wispy toward eight o’clock. Above the arched top of the dust cave, 3 groupings of stars with diffraction spikes are arranged. A dark cloud sits at the top of the arch of the glowing dust cave, with one streamer curling down the right-hand side. The dark shadow of the cloud appears pinched in the center, with light emerging in a triangle shape above and below the pinch, revealing the presence of a star inside the cloud. The largest jets of red material emanate from within this dark cloud, thick and displaying structure like the rough face of a cliff, glowing brighter at the edges. At top center, a star displays another, larger pinched dark shadow, this time vertically. To the left of this star is a more wispy, indistinct region.

another timeline cleanse from all the doom and gloom 🌌

they should invent unprecedented times that are good

Bought a fuckload of cheerios but forgot the milk. I'd make shopping lists, but I forget to check them once I'm inside with the bright lights and other people buying sustenance for their horrible bodies. I beeline to the cheese and get out once I'm home I strip down to my underwear, soaked w sweat

Post reads: I have never come back from any holiday feeling relaxed, refreshed & reinvigorated to get back into work. I come back with the taste of freedom, still fresh in my mouth, a renewed hatred for work, and a strong suspicion that this is not what I should be spending my life doing.

#christmasbreak #newyear

me: you boy what day is it today?

boy: nonces shout out of the window day.

me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.