Jenna Allen

Child's drawing with three panels. The first panel takes up the top third of the page, and the second and third panels split the bottom two-thirds of the page vertically. The top panel says, "Be safe in class and don't sit in Mrs. Allen's spinny chair or ELSE." The second panel is labeled "wrong" and shows a turtle spinning on a stool, with me saying, "GET OFF," followed by a picture of the turtle having fallen off the stool and me saying "KARMA". The third panel is labeled "right" and shows me sitting in the stool. One speech bubble from my mouth says, "Son of a gun", and the other says, "Back off guys... I can't see. Where's my glasses?"

Yesterday I had my students draw posters to represent the expectations we are recommitting to for the final 3 weeks of school. These kids KNOW me 😂

I've seen a lot of articles about the ENORMOUS waste of money for dumbfuck's birthday parade. What I'd love some links to, if anyone has them, is analysis of the risks posed by him having that much military power on the ground in D.C., ready to do his bidding. Am I just paranoid?

Fourth grader's drawing labeled "Take deep breaths!" across the top. The rest of the note is split into two panels. The panel on the left is labeled "In". and shows a drawing of a brown-haired girl wearing a red shirt and smiling with her mouth closed. The panel on the right shows the same girl with her mouth in an "O" shape, and lines coming out to show breath.

We start state testing next week, so I had the kids write some positive notes that I could put on their desks to lift their spirits while they're deep in it. I'm keeping this one forever because it looks like how I feel each morning this time of year. Deep breath in.... and.... scream. 😂 #iteach4th

😂 I wish! That picture has made the rounds for a few years now, and I definitely want to be friends with that woman!

"Everyone in this hospital has perfect teeth." ~my mom, high on oxycodone

🧵3/3

Right before she was wheeled back to surgery, I leaned close to my mom and said in the creepiest possible voice, "He's never letting you go." It might be me, it might be the Midazolam, but she was in hysterical laughter as they wheeled her away. I think the surgical team thinks we're nuts. 😂

🧵2/3

I burst into the laughter at a volume wildly inappropriate for the surgical floor, and was in TEARS with how that sounded like something right out of a horror movie. I couldn't get it out of my head the whole morning.

🧵1/3
My mom broke her wrist, and is having surgery to repair it today. While we were waiting, she told me about a well-meaning but slightly daft lady who heard how worried she was, put her hand on my mom's shoulder, and told her, "God's kept you here for 80 years - he's not going to let you go now."

FUCK YES, CANADA! ♥️ 🇨🇦

I'm not sure if this is nationwide, but my local Target has electronics recycling bins in its front entryway. Our local recycling center also accepts e-waste.

Are you listening, @governorferguson.bsky.social?? This is how it's done, not by breaking promises to students and their families.

I would ask the neighbor's dog why he doesn't like (unspecified), and the neighborhood cat why she's always pregnant.

I would do nothing. I'm not a hero. I'm a 10 year old. What did you expect me to do.

These kids kill me. (Translations in alt text for those not skilled in reading 4th grade scrawl.)

#iteach4th

Things that are making me feel at peace in my classroom today:

The sun shining through the windows and...

1. The first fully fenestrated leaf from my monstera that I've grown from a single clipping.

2. The new shoots from my 3-year-old calla lily.

3. This gorgeous bloom from my peace lily.

Close up view of pink embroidery hoop holding a cross-stitch project in progress.There is a blue magnetic fabric holder on the upper left holding a threaded needle, and a red magnetic fabric holder on the upper right. The fabric is a blend of grays that has a marbled or smoky effect. The completed stitches are creating the tip of an outstretched owl's wing in shades of light blue, with a line of darker blue on the left.

Extreme close up view of a cross-stitch project in progress. The fabric is a blend of grays that has a marbled or smoky effect. The completed stitches are creating the tip of an outstretched owl's wing in shades of light blue, with a line of darker blue on the left.

Legend for Owl by MIYAstitch
3 over 2 on 25ct Lugana
started April 8, 2025
319 / 5924 stitches completed (5.4%)

I'm going to have to pick up the pace if I want this one done before school's out!

#weekendWIP #crossstitch

Haha! It's my love language ♥️

Why has it never occurred to me to stitch a protest sign??! 😂

😂 I can hear my husband saying this exact same thing to me, and me having the same reaction.

Cross-stitch fabric with swirls of dark gray on light gray, creating a marbling effect similar to a stormy sky.

My next project is ready to go! When I ordered this gorgeous Lugana, I thought it was 28ct, but it's 25ct which makes the design too big to fit in any of my Qsnaps. I don't like moving hoops mid-WIP, so (tl;dr) I'm trying out my first Nurge hoop when it arrives tomorrow morning. ♥️

#crossstitch

So impressed by you, Michelle!! ♥️

We're going on a field trip to the state Capitol soon, and the kids have been getting really excited. Yesterday, out of nowhere, one of my boys asks, "If we see Bob Ferguson at Olympia, can I say,''ello, Guvna!'?"

Shocked into laughter, I replied, "I will pay you cash money if you do."

#iteach4th

They're lucky that I do, too 😂

A printed math problem states that a group of 137 students and 15 adults go to a museum. The students and adults have to take the elevator to the 6th floor. The elevator can hold a maximum of 12 people, and at least one adult must ride with each group of students on the elevator. Part A asks what is the fewest number of elevator trips it will take to get all of the students and adults to the 6th floor. Part B asks what is the fewest number of people in the final elevator trip. No student work is shown on the page.

I was sitting with a student as he tried to come up with a strategy to figure this one out. Another student sitting across from us glanced over at the paper and announced, "Oh yeah, I already solved that one! I made them take the stairs."

#ITeach4th #AlmostSpringBreak #NeverEnoughCoffee

The worst part of cross stitch is unkitting a finished project and kitting a new one. If I won the lottery, my one indulgence would be buying material and thread for each new project, donating what's left over any time I finished one, and giving zero f's about organizing my inventory.

#crossstitch

Thank you!

She's done! What a labor of love this was, and I cannot wait to gift her at graduation. ♥️

Pattern:Ukrainian Soul by Nadezhda Nagornaya (via NonStopStitch on Etsy)

Inscription: freehanded - all errors are mine

Material: 28ct Lugana (2 over 2)

#crossstitch #slavaukraini #СлаваУкраїні

(4/4)

At least he had the good sense to look abashed. 😂 They're so lucky that by this time of the year I love them to pieces, 'cause I'm ready to chuck them over to 5th grade already.

#talesfrom4thgrade #iteach4th

(3/4)

"A... reminder."

"Yes."

"To not bang your head on the table."

"Mm-hmm."

"..."

"..."

"Friend. You're ten years old. Do you NEED a reminder to not bang your head on the table?"

(2/4)
"Mrs. Allen, can I ask you something?"

"Yup. What's up?"

"So yesterday you sent me to a buddy room."

"I remember."

"And I know it was wrong to bang my head on the table."

"Okay."

"But... you never gave me a warning. Shouldn't I have gotten a reminder?"

I sent two kids to buddy rooms yesterday, a kind of reset when they need to reflect on their choices, because they had decided it would be fun to just bang their heads on the table. Repeatedly. Look, y'all, I don't know either.

Today, one of those boys decided he had some questions about this. 🧵

...which they did by using an insecure app. No one's attacking Signal - they're attacking the security leaders of what's left of our country for using it with classified information