Spinal Tap Quotes

NIGEL: Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind or... or do uh... freelance... selling of some sort
of... uh... product, you know...

ASO: Excuse me, sir, do you have any metal objects in your pockets?
DEREK: Yeah.

The door that used to open has now closed without a crack
Woman, you're like the Empire, and I still want you back

And the people stood and stared
Loved us more than we had dared to, in America

We are the children who grew too fast
We are the dust of a future past

DAVID: Other way. Other way. Other way.
DEREK: Other way. Other way.

Well, you got the eyes, you got the lips
With your long blonde hair and your wild young hips
You look like a million, including tips...

Milk and sugar
Bread and Jam
Yes please, sir, and thank you ma'm
Here I am

DAVID: This is your crab face. Give me a chance! Give it a chance...and this is a...

IAN: What?
ARTIST: Well this is the piece.
IAN: This is the piece?
ARTIST: Yes.

Introducing Derek Smalls' Balls (again)

Takes balls to play Balls.
Takes balls to ban Balls.

Enjoy accordingly. 🎸

dereksmalls.ffm.to/balls

Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em
Big bottom, drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?

DAVID: What?
DEREK: Jazz odyssey!

Getting out my pitch fork
Poking your hay

SIR DENIS: Oh, so this is Nigel!

DEREK: Jesus Christ, this is fucking all we need!
NIGEL: You can’t fucking concentrate, because of your fucking wife, simple as that, alright? It’s your fucking wife!
DAVID: She’s not my wife!
NIGEL: Whatever the fuck she is, alright, you can’t concentrate, we can’t

DAVID: They’re not animals, they’re signs of the zodiac.

IAN: Are you telling me that this is it? This is scenery? Have you ever been to Stonehenge?

BOBBI: Denis, come here...I want you to meet Spinal Tap, our guests of honor.
SIR DENIS: How very nice to meet you!

Milk and sugar
Bread and Jam
Yes please, sir, and thank you ma'm
Here I am

<JFK Airport, New York>
DAVID: Which one is this? Is this LaGuardia or is this— ?
IAN: No, this is JFK.
DAVID: Oh yes.
IAN: New York, New York.

And what would they say to us if they were here tonight?

IAN: How are we going to get fourteen people in a ‘King Leisure’ bed, Tucker?
SMITTY: Oh-ho-ho don’t - don’t tempt me, sir.

JANITOR: You go right straight through this door here, down the hall....

DAVID: What’s the difference between golf and miniature golf?
DEREK: I think it’s-uh...
MICK: The balls.
DEREK: The holes are smaller

tonight the desert isn't free with her secrets
She's a silent bird, quiet bird
I asked the Sphinx for the answer
It said, 'Mums the word'

DEREK: This is Cindy’s first moustache.
IAN: Is it?

ASO: Raise your arms....do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
DEREK: Not really, no....

DAVID: I think you’re rationalizing this whole thing like into something you did on on purpose. I think
we’re stuck with a very, very stupid and a very, and a very dismal looking album, this is depressing.