Spinal Tap Quotes

But tonight I'm gonna rock you (tonight I'm gonna rock you)
Yeah, tonight I'm gonna rock you (tonight I'm gonna rock you)
Tonight, whoa yeah!

BOBBI: They’re boycotting the album only because of the cover. If the first album had been a hit....

DEREK: Jazz odyssey!

IAN: That’s considerably more than minor.

ARTIE: Do me a favor, just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that’s all, kick my ass, enjoy! C’mon, I’m not
asking, I’m telling with this, kick my ass!

Listen to what the flower people say
Listen! It's getting louder every day
Listen! It's like a bolt out of the blue
Listen! It could be calling out for you

IAN: Well what exactly...do you find offensive? I mean, what’s offensive?
BOBBI: Ian, you put a greased naked woman...
IAN: Yes...
BOBBI: ...on all fours...
IAN: Yes.
BOBBI: ...with a dog collar around her neck...
IAN: ...with a dog collar...
BOBBI: ...and a leash...
IAN: ...and a leash...

Yeah, I'm living in a hell hole Don't want to stay in this hell hole
Don't want to die in this hell hole
Girl, get me out of this hell hole

<Tour Bus>
VIV: Ohh, quite exciting, quite exciting this computer magic, wheeeee...

You been bad
Don't do what I say
You don't listen
And you never obey

DJ: The Thamesmen and “Cups and Cakes”

DEREK: Listen.
CROWD: Tap! Tap! Tap...
DAVID: Shit.

This is something you wear around your arm, you don’t put this on your fucking turntable.

NIGEL: Well that’s true. I think mine would look good - better in doubly. If it was done in doubly....
JEANINE: Oh shut up!!!

DEREK: Maybe we just fix the choreography. Keep the dwarf clear.

DEREK: We were talking about a rock musical based on the life of Jack the Ripper...
DAVID: Yeah,’Saucy Jack.’
DEREK: Right.’Saucy Jack.’ Now’s the time to do that.
DAVID: “Saucy Jack, you’re a naughty one, Saucy Jack, you’re a haughty one, Saucy Jack.”

IAN: Not the bread, you could fold the meat.

DEREK: Hey, watch the, watch the language, you’re paying homage to the King!
DAVID: Oh sorry...well this is thoroughly depressing.

JEANINE: We’ve got a big dressing room, though.
DAVID: What?
JEANINE: Got a big dressing room here...

MARTY: ...and put it on a farm?

I mean, you know when you’ve loved and lost the way Frank has, then
you uh ...you know what life’s about.

It's too late
Can't go back
She's too great
Can't go back

Running late, at least an hour
No time to rest, no time to shower now we're

Stinkin' up the great outdoors

DAVID: “America” we can’t do, that’s Nigel’s tune, not my tune.

If you want to do business with me (Cash!)
Let's keep it strictly C.O.D. (Cash!)
Just make it cash on delivery with me (Cash!)

DAVID: Oh, we’ve got a bigger dressing room than the puppets? Oh, that’s refreshing..

DAVID: I think you’re rationalizing this whole thing like into something you did on on purpose. I think
we’re stuck with a very, very stupid and a very, and a very dismal looking album, this is depressing.

<Dressing Room, last gig of the tour>

DAVID: We’re not going about to do a free-form jazz, uh, exploration in front of a festival crowd!
—- Spinal Tap Mark II performs Jazz Odyssey —-

NIGEL: ...the size...and and they, they run screaming.