Carl Mayer

You got screwed. I’m sorry.

MNGA

“Well, a lot of people say a lot of different things, and we’re looking into it. But for four years, you had an incompetent president, and Narnia went to hell, and we’re fixing it. We’re fixing Narnia, and we’re fixing it quickly. And under budget too, nobody’s seen that before.”

Next *time*.

Already I’m screwing things up like it was 2010s Twitter.

The next Trump is fielding questions in a scrum, I really want a reporter to ask him to respond to the words of support he got from the Prime Minister of Narnia. Or if he has a comment on the earthquake in Wakanda. He will answer, I guarantee.

Shen Yun is a company that produces signs for bodegas. They use dance to promote their sign business.

I love the idea of porn that’s either so wholesome or so undeniably, world-crushingly erotic that legitimate advertisers want to sponsor it.

“Quaker Oats wants in, but only if they get last spot before the pop shot.”

My god I wish I were like 10% dumber what the world must be like.

I’m sure he’s learned his lesson.

Only if you went more than two pumps. Then they’d know it wasn’t really me.

How to come up with your porn name:

First name: Your first name.
Last name: Your last name.

Go do some porn under your real name.

I wish it didn’t have to be what they focus on, but it seems shame may be the only ammo we have left. His being abjectly unqualified isn’t going to do it.

Oh my god that cardboard case with the plastic snap. Let me guess: special features they called out included scene selection and cast bios?