Seriously Susan

In an ideal world, people’s outsides would match their insides.

SNAP benefits are about the expire, and federal workers aren’t being paid. First, if you can, donate to your local food bank. Second: fight the evil.

free line for democrats to use on the white house shit: donald trump has done what the flight 93 hijackers couldn’t

White people be like do you have more in the back

Knew it!

Everything's so horrible and deranged, I kinda see why desperation once made someone say, "Maybe God'll fix shit if we throw folks in an active volcano..?"

As you attended No Fascists (how I brand it) events today, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Timothy Snyder's On Tyranny. It's outstanding and something you will keep referring to over and over again.

if i wake up in pain i wasn't in when i went to sleep, i just assume i fought the monster under the bed. clearly i won, because it's gone

Yes, I’m Antifa
Like my grandpa
In Normandy

Me: I think I have tennis elbow

WebMD: you have cancer elbow

Host: Let's play Wheel Of Ornithology!

Me: Are there any jays?

Host: No sorry

Me: I'd like to buy an owl

John Fugelsang JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory tour.

Charmin trying to convince me that toilet paper that tears more easily will make pooping more enjoyable is why capitalism needs to be smothered with a pillow

Celebrate Columbus Day by going out for Indian food but getting lost and stopping at a quiet buffet restaurant for a nice meal.

Then murder everyone there.

Solsbury Hill came on and I wrote a complete 90s romcom in 4 minutes

I’ve had it.

Dentist: have you been flossing?

[flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip the night before]

Me: religiously

Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

A meme about unwanted AI

Really getting tired of letting things sink in for a second

Not sure if people know this but we are going to die of climate change and fascism if we don’t get it together like it’s not a joke it’s real and the only way through is socialism

Motion to start referring to tariffs as "the war on Christmas"

🤡♥️

I just quit a book three pages in when I reached a second misspelling because I expect books to be smarter than me goddammit

And my name is Susan, so guess what my mom said

just finished reading 1984 for the first time and you guys aren’t gonna believe this shit—