Ida R. J. Greenberg

And I stood there, having to listen to “We wish You a Merry Christmas” an infinite number of times to no reward.

If I were to be maimed in a horrible treadmill accident today, well…

Being reminded by a truck that my greatest crime against her was not knowing enough about world culture.

Make your neighbors hate you; throw some peas on the floor.

Lonely loaf at night

If I have to go walking around like a doughnut, so be it.

I’m grateful for leaf.

Hopscotching in the dark

The man standing along the street was as out of place as a chicken in the forest.

The optometrists are taking over!

Smiling without your eyes

The soup cans were never enough!

Between the two of us laid a cupcake that resembled a bowel movement

And so I said I would mull-et over. And that was the best pun I have ever said.

You’re named Portia? So like, the car?

She was right; someone does have to get into it. I didn’t agree at the time, but I’ve come to understand.

The leaf eating pizza

Tsk, tsk, tsk. All that work and for what? To become a bench?

“Careful, that’s my wife,” half joked the high school teacher whose chest resembled a door covered by a slightly gaping button-down shirt.

Thinking about the cursed word and how I once iterated it to someone, and then wanted to throw up.

Fried Egg UFO Overhead

Laughing at my gooey nuggets.

It’s like the time that he was carried out on a pillow, on display for all to see.

There goes Dr. Zira and her carpet bag!

She's right! I do get my ya-ya's out by writing.

Thinking about the giant crab; sometimes it moves, sometimes it doesn’t.

I'm back to dreaming in horizontal.

In soup I trust that the realest of real people will talk about condiments like they have feelings?

Tanaka-san has retired, much to my delayed discouragement.

Oops! I surprised someone about Bobo!