Open Doorley, Antidepressant Season Acknowledger

What do you call a pedophile who assassinate’s a murderous dictator? A pedophile

Mr Roger’s: won’t you be my neighbor
Me: Who did you vote for in the last 3 elections

Hell yeah

Most people don't know that Margaret Thatcher was an incredible beatboxer

I do miss the little crustacean

It's been running in the fifth dimension for millennia

Lots of morning sickness

Got my average daily screen time down to 17 hours by not telling the app how often I'm simultaneously watching tv

Ketchup is surprisingly divisive.

I don't know the exact process determining trending topics on bluesky, but it's clearly not what people are posting about. I don't believe for one second that everybody is talking about some Israel-compromised, out of touch Democrat and not, like, that a girls' school got bombed

Camel Beauty Contest Botox Cheating Scandal is my favorite Mr. Bungle song

Don't forget to ignore LinkedIn for the rest of your life

Now is an amazing time to subscribe to this labeler

bsky.app/profile/us-g...

Which one of those was the girls school

No but seriously when you're ready to general strike let me know. Should we shoot for May? May is a lovely month to general strike. General strike, say, May 1st? Auspicious date, that. Anybody wanna general strike with me?

Bombing a country to freedom works exactly as well as blowing up a junkyard to build s car.

One time a confused hermit crab lived in my nose for about 2 weeks, so in fact I believe you'll find I do know what being pregnant is like thanks

💯💯💯 Jonathan richman has laid crazy pipe, like wilt chamberlain numbers

My stance on Iran is very simple:

The regime deserves to pay for all the crimes it has committed, starting with the recent massacre of tens of thousands of opponents.

The Iranian people deserve to live in freedom, dignity and peace, and to choose their own leaders.

Whoever wrote that speech he gave made a mistake by allowing him to use the word "war", that'll be their downfall if the ICC gets their act together and charges them. Words are important.

I got more acrylic markers at the dollar store. Have you ever played with acrylic markers? You probably need some acrylic markers

Don't try to out-apathy me, kid, I completely gave up before your parents didn't bother to use birth control

See this is the kind of good news we need

Great now put DMT in beer

Ideas don't belong to individualls

Operation Epstein Fury was right there…

Operation Epstein Fury.

Operation Epstein Fury has begun

USA launches attacks over Iran

NATO allies in Europe

Can say

Nah, you can’t use our airspace or seaports

(If they want)

Operation Epstein Fury

Operation Epstein Fury