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Kip Conlon

@kipconlon.bsky.social

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jl254wzevuyus2qdi7awzs5a/feed/aaallxif7tq52

5,473 Followers  |  3,619 Following  |  2,937 Posts  |  Joined: 18.07.2023
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Posts by Kip Conlon (@kipconlon.bsky.social)

Like all bank presidents, George Bailey was a great man.

08.03.2026 06:17 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

why are taters the only thing we’ve totted

06.03.2026 21:10 β€” πŸ‘ 573    πŸ” 137    πŸ’¬ 69    πŸ“Œ 12

Can the hour we lose tonight be the one where I’m awake wondering why I even exist

07.03.2026 13:22 β€” πŸ‘ 162    πŸ” 37    πŸ’¬ 8    πŸ“Œ 0

We don’t talk enough about Norman Bate’s prowess with a mop. That fellow could clean a floor

06.03.2026 17:57 β€” πŸ‘ 82    πŸ” 24    πŸ’¬ 5    πŸ“Œ 0

me, pointing at all the bread in the bread aisle at the grocery store, mouth agape, smiling, shaking my head in pure awe: where does this all come from…some…some kind of factory?

07.03.2026 14:43 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

I bought a denim shirt with embroidery on it but I’m going to tell people I thrifted it.

07.03.2026 21:53 β€” πŸ‘ 33    πŸ” 9    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Spent many knights there.

07.03.2026 19:07 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

If huts are where you prefer to eat pizza, have I got the place for you.

07.03.2026 18:57 β€” πŸ‘ 17    πŸ” 4    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

As a child star, I thought I had my whole future ahead of me. Which was technically true.

07.03.2026 06:51 β€” πŸ‘ 16    πŸ” 5    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Thanks to the free buffet at the strip club, I only wound up spending 600 dollars.

07.03.2026 03:16 β€” πŸ‘ 12    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

When I won the lottery, I naively thought my troubles were over. The coffee at the yacht dealership is lukewarm.

06.03.2026 15:38 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

finally read uncle vanya, one more thing i can chekhov my bucket list

04.03.2026 18:10 β€” πŸ‘ 348    πŸ” 69    πŸ’¬ 12    πŸ“Œ 2

I don't know where Waldo is. I have my own problems.

25.02.2026 23:40 β€” πŸ‘ 231    πŸ” 90    πŸ’¬ 8    πŸ“Œ 1

record co. ceo, 1973: record sales are down. you’re toast

Bread: what

05.03.2026 14:27 β€” πŸ‘ 71    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

More songs should start like Monkey Gone to Heaven. "There was a guy." Ok I'm listening, what's this guy up to

12.02.2026 18:30 β€” πŸ‘ 1248    πŸ” 260    πŸ’¬ 34    πŸ“Œ 20

I don’t need drugs to get high, but they certainly expedite the process.

05.03.2026 18:53 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

hobbies include gagging on my electric toothbrush

03.03.2026 01:54 β€” πŸ‘ 92    πŸ” 32    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Love reading Frankenstein in public so I can occasionally say, β€œI guess we see who the real monster is.”

04.03.2026 13:40 β€” πŸ‘ 198    πŸ” 49    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 1

The gorillas were wary of my presence at first. Then things got really bad.

04.03.2026 17:09 β€” πŸ‘ 22    πŸ” 5    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

As you can see from my clunky, unattractive ring, I graduated from high school.

04.03.2026 00:22 β€” πŸ‘ 83    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

Liam Neeson: ….I've lost me train of thought.

Kidnapper: If I'm looking for a ransom, you don't have any money, what you do have are a particular set of skills...

03.03.2026 23:20 β€” πŸ‘ 12    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

so awesome that we found a way to make podcasts even more annoying by filming them as they're being recorded

27.02.2026 00:21 β€” πŸ‘ 925    πŸ” 108    πŸ’¬ 27    πŸ“Œ 0

There should be a word for the pain of knowing you saw a band long before you loved them

28.02.2026 13:48 β€” πŸ‘ 275    πŸ” 49    πŸ’¬ 17    πŸ“Œ 3

Are you enjoying the bologna nachos? I got the recipe from β€œHigh Times.”

03.03.2026 17:26 β€” πŸ‘ 15    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

As you can see from my rΓ©sumΓ©, I am proficient in lying.

02.03.2026 17:00 β€” πŸ‘ 37    πŸ” 8    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Gentlemen, it’s Women’s History Month, so maybe take the initiative and explain what that is.

02.03.2026 14:55 β€” πŸ‘ 446    πŸ” 115    πŸ’¬ 19    πŸ“Œ 6

Andre 4000 has already been born it’s only a matter of time before he makes himself known

21.02.2026 20:49 β€” πŸ‘ 71    πŸ” 17    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 1

[my hair holding a tiny suitcase]: hey man i'm moving to your back

18.02.2026 02:25 β€” πŸ‘ 179    πŸ” 49    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 1

fishing the directions out of the trash cuz i forgot what comes next after β€œi put my hand upon your hip, when i dip, you dip…”

17.02.2026 20:38 β€” πŸ‘ 126    πŸ” 32    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 1

Don't ban smartphones for kids. Ban Monopoly.

01.03.2026 17:02 β€” πŸ‘ 68    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0