“Cult” is such an ugly word. Father would not approve.
28.02.2026 08:34 — 👍 10 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0“Cult” is such an ugly word. Father would not approve.
28.02.2026 08:34 — 👍 10 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0Underestimate me at your peril. You will find it cannot be done.
27.02.2026 23:52 — 👍 15 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0“How are you still single?” turned out to be a rhetorical as well as sarcastic question.
27.02.2026 22:00 — 👍 12 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0sad cheese marketer taglines be like This One Will Make You Feel Bleu or Edam & Weep or Is This One Feta or Worse, Feta or Worse or
24.02.2026 14:51 — 👍 72 🔁 23 💬 10 📌 0when replying on bluesky, remember that any word in the original post can be used as a springboard for incoherent free association
16.02.2026 17:53 — 👍 929 🔁 127 💬 29 📌 16Dog unemployment has reached 98%
15.02.2026 18:10 — 👍 91 🔁 21 💬 4 📌 2Drunk at the bar said I was too soft to take him in a fight. I nearly cried.
27.02.2026 05:53 — 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0We all suspected grandma suffered from gingivitis, but in my family dental illness wasn't something you talked about.
27.02.2026 04:26 — 👍 18 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0She offered me an oyster and a flirty smile. ”I'm extremely allergic,” I purred.
26.02.2026 17:49 — 👍 8 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Me: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
The plumber: Knock yourself out. This is still gonna cost you eight hundred and fifty bucks.
Great movie! And kind of haunting.
25.02.2026 03:00 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I can see it. This came to mind because I was reading about the actor Paul Sand (I like him), who was also a mime. Seems a lost art, or compared to when I was a kid anyway.
25.02.2026 03:00 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Top 5 mimes (all time)
1. Marcel Marceau
2.
3.
4.
5.
There are 2 kinds of people in the world
1. People who love Phil Collins' song In the Air Tonight
2. People who haven't heard Phil Collins' song In the Air Tonight
“Keyboard warrior?” Thank you. But I'm just a guy.
24.02.2026 19:18 — 👍 12 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0Back from jury selection. They said they're going “in another direction” for juror #4, whatever the hell that means.
24.02.2026 17:29 — 👍 18 🔁 4 💬 3 📌 0🤞
24.02.2026 07:51 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Walked by the woman I'd once hoped to marry on the street; she didn't even glance in my direction. I hear she's with Colin Jost now.
24.02.2026 07:45 — 👍 16 🔁 5 💬 1 📌 0The thing no one tells you about vandalizing ambulances is how you feel kind of bad after.
24.02.2026 07:03 — 👍 19 🔁 5 💬 2 📌 0“Zee plane, zee plane!” was a total ad lib. Hervé Villechaize saw a plane and freaked.
24.02.2026 04:26 — 👍 15 🔁 5 💬 2 📌 0Sydney Sweeney is actually enunciating in this.
24.02.2026 03:12 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0if i was a sommelier, i’d call my business Somme Like it Hot or Somme Enchanted Evening or Somme Times You Win & Somme Times You Lose (gotta rethink that one) or Somme Day My Prints Will Come (your wine pairings menus) or
17.02.2026 15:43 — 👍 83 🔁 27 💬 14 📌 0Manager was even less helpful.
24.02.2026 03:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I realize the restaurant is slammed, but my napkin seems to be tinily frayed.
24.02.2026 03:06 — 👍 18 🔁 2 💬 2 📌 0In my defense, when I called everyone in the zoom meeting oblivious idiots, I thought I was on mute.
23.02.2026 16:21 — 👍 24 🔁 8 💬 2 📌 0Thanks for inviting me. I didn't know what kind of wine you like, so I didn't bring any.
23.02.2026 06:14 — 👍 9 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0remembering my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa tim. he would’ve been 1,027 years old today. miss you, buddy.
20.02.2026 15:12 — 👍 16 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0
well, can a guy on drugs do THIS
interviewer: i haven’t asked any questions
Thank you!
22.02.2026 18:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Never dating a damsel again. It's just one crisis after another.
22.02.2026 17:58 — 👍 52 🔁 14 💬 6 📌 0