Whoreberto Mapplethot

Close up selfie looking at the camera with a cheeky expression on my face.

Turning 37 today. 🥳

That means I get kisses from 37 different bloomfs, right?

I haven’t looked at rioting gear websites yet. Are they also 30%off? Or do we just riot with 70% of the effort?

I felt the same way seeing the ring I bought Nov 5th being 30% off now 😵‍💫🥺

Mesmerizing. 🤩

a medieval style digital drawing of an androgynous brown-skinned knight on horseback on a hill, stabbing a long gold spear into a blue dragon on the ground. the knight has a gold halo behind their head and wears a suit of silver armor with a nonbinary flag striped tunic and a trans flag as a cape. their horse is white, with blue tack with trans pride trim. there is black gothic text at the top and bottom of the image reading “A world without trans people has never existed and never will.” there’s an ornate pale blue border around the image, filled with pink and blue scrollwork, gold hearts filled with colorful flowers, a smiley bat, two smiley moles, and two smiling frogs holding up trans flags.

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

Watched Wicked For Good and Canada’s Drag Race Premiere in the same night. Being gay is so fun! 💚🩷

Look who’s talking 😉

🥰🥰🥰

Mirror reflection with contrast lighting in a partially sunlit bedroom. Standing naked, but covered by plants.

Thursday.

Hope it’s a colour that would match your outfits.

Every movie I’ve been to recently had people talking throughout it that someone had to tell them to shut up at some point. I really don’t get how that’s so commonplace now 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Oh no, I was trying to save money by skipping it. This is not what I needed to hear. 😂

Oh! So it’s your fault it’s Monday again? Can you please stop blinking?

It’s textured for your pleasure! Think of it as a free exfoliating session. 💁‍♀️

That’s very impressive. Congrats! 👏

Love the looks 😍🥰

Close up of naked body in high contrast light. Hand is placed above penis covering it. Sparkling white ring stands out in the shadow.

How silly of me! I forgot to mention I got a new wedding ring.

Willow pill dressed with an angle tank top (misspelling of “angel”).

I was definitely not God’s favourite angle last night. 😇

Graph showing a similar total weight change, but as a decline. Weekly rate: -2.36lbs | 3M total: -30.6lbs

Oh, so now I do know where most of my weight has gone too. Glad to see you making an incredible use of it.

So excited that Project Runway Canada starts today! 🤩

Today I ringed the bell.

I finished my last chemotherapy treatment. Next steps are getting scans done to see the results.

But I’m just so happy to be done with this brutal part of the journey.

Now please excuse me while I cry to Hayley Williams in my car.

Them tiddies aren’t flat… They stretch out like mountains to the sky. Sometimes higher!

New fear unlocked 😰

Piece of advice: watch your angles when you’re swallowing cum.

Hubby just came inside my mouth and it went all the way out from my nose. Not pleasant a feeling (it stings/burns).

Afff typo. “box of granola bars”. Whatever. 😖

Hey Siri, buy “granola box bars”costume with expedited shipping.

Happiest of birthdays Matthew!! Hope your year is filled with horrors, music, and slutty things!

Turning 37 in 12 days, so no photo for me.

But if I get to 43/44 looking half as a good as you do, I’ll be VERY happy 🤩

I keep encouraging my hubby to show himself even more. 🤣

I think everyone deserves to find someone who matches their energy, and out of all things to balance when entering a relationship, that should (hopefully) be one of the easier points for people to be comfortable with. 🤞

Make sure they’re symmetrical when they’re showing you the dots in the mirror.

I brushed it off as “I’m paying a lot in this professional piercing studio instead of a mall store” but they’re asymmetrical now which is why I tend to use more hoops/pendant styles as that minimizes it.