@lpnlolz.bsky.social
The harder you work, the more invisible it becomes.
“Filed 6 motions, answered 34 emails, prepped for trial… but sure, I ‘did nothing.’”
Change my mind.
#LawyerBurnout #ClientAmnesia #lawyerlife
Client: “You didn’t even do that much.”
Me after winning the whole case: *sighs*
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems
Opposing counsel prepping like it's a bar trivia night, not a legal proceeding.
⚖️ “Your Honor, as supported by Totally Not Relevant v. Doesn’t Apply, 1973…”
📚 Meanwhile, the truth is just sitting in discovery.
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems
Me, ugly-crying on the courthouse steps:
🥹 “We did it. The war is over. The emails can stop.”
3 years, 97 continuances, 4 mediations, 2 judges, and one blessed final order.
#SettledAtLast #LegalPTSD #TearsOfRelief #lawyerlife
“Your Honor, my client would like to invoke… maritime law?”
⚖️ When they come in quoting TikTok and leave quoting case law after you do damage control.
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems
When your objection wasn’t just sustained.... it was career-ending.
💁♀️ “If you wanted it admitted, you should’ve followed the rules.”
💼 Procedural flex: activated.
#TrialTactics #LawyerWins #BurntTheirCaseDown
When opposing counsel gets grilled for the same objection you got roasted for yesterday…
🥲 Welcome to the “judicial whiplash” club.
“Rules? Guidelines? Depends on the day.”
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy
“Sir, this is not a town hall meeting.”
🎤 When courtroom turns C-SPAN because someone watched one episode of The West Wing.
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy
Me, gripping my binder like it’s the Constitution:
💥 “So he can interrupt freely, but I raise my voice and it’s ‘decorum’?”
#LawyerLife #LegalDoubleStandards #legalhumor
⚖️ "Was this your motion?"
🧍♂️🧍♂️"I thought it was yours!"
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #attorneyproblems #courtroomcomedy
When your inner law student ruins a perfectly good courtroom drama.
👩⚖️💥 “Objection! That’s hearsay!”
😼📘 “Actually… Rule 801(d)(2).”
#LawyerLife #HearsayWho #LegalMeme #TrialByCat
When your whole personality is courtroom swagger.
💼💅 "Your Honor, may I approach?"
Because power moves start at the podium.
#lawyerlife #legalhumor #courtroomcomedy
Just a lawyer, haunting their inbox, hoping that today’s the day that “urgent doc” finally arrives.
Third request... still no reply.
#LawyerLife #ClientFollowUp #LegalDelay
Client theories are cute, but hearsay doesn’t win trials.
Evidence > vibes every time.
#TrialPrep #LawyerLogic #ClientSaidWhat
Retrial mode: activated 🐶📎
Because giving up isn’t in the brief.
#MotionForReconsideration #LawyerDog
Ah yes, the sacred ritual of explaining discovery for the 12th time… only to be blamed for not working miracles with zero evidence.
#LawyerProblems #ClientExpectations #DiscoveryFails
When the client disappears for an entire fiscal quarter... then demands to know why we’re not in court yet.
#LawyerLife #ClientLogic #DelayedByGhosting
When the client says “Let’s settle this quietly” and you’re already drafting a notice of deposition.
We don’t de-escalate... we litigate.
#TrialReady #LitigatorLife #WeSubpoenaAtDawn
Opposing counsel said it was “just a few minor edits.”
Track changes: activates war mode
#RedlinesEverywhere #ContractChaos #LegalLife
One involves legal databases, case law, and 10 years of experience.
The other involves a Reddit thread and a YouTube video titled “How to Win Any Case in Court!!!”
#AttorneyVsGoogle #LegalResearch #ClientLogic
Just another perfectly manageable Tuesday. ☕🔥
Triple booked for hearings, five deadlines due, and the client wants a full trial strategy… over WhatsApp.
Totally fine. Everything’s fine.
#LawyerBurnout #ThisIsFine #LegalLife
When your professional side says, “Let it go.”
But your petty legal villain whispers, “Reply all. CC the judge. Burn it down professionally.”
#LawyerLife #ReplyAllWarrior #DarkLawyerMode
Me: Spends 8 hours crafting brilliance backed by precedent and logic
Judge: "Yeah... no."
Just another day in the courtroom trenches.
#LawyerMemes #LitigatorLife #WhyDoIEvenTry
Chasing those sweet, sweet billables like 🚩
Meanwhile, work-life balance and mental health are filing a motion to withdraw as counsel.
#LawyerLife #BillableAddict #WorkLifeWhat
“Oh it’s just a quick review,” they said.
Now I’m 300 PDFs deep in a subfolder named “misc_final_FINAL_revised.”
#LegalLife #AssociateStruggles #DataDumpDisaster
Oh cool, you volunteered me as tribute.
Totally chill. No pressure. Just my bar license and your entire case riding on vibes.
#LawyerLife #ClientLogic #FixItWithMagic
That moment when it hits you… all your 20s went to motion practice, PDF hell, and clients who treat you like their emotional support attorney.
#LawyerFatigue #BillableTrauma #LegalLifeCrisis
When opposing counsel lures you in with “professional courtesy” then files a motion that reads like a personal attack.
#LegalPlotTwist #LawyerLife #OpposingCounselChronicles
Every time a client gives “their version” of events... and it reads like a novel from the fiction section.
#LawyerLife #ClientChronicles #OfficeHumor
Trying to draft a strategy when your client brings zero evidence, four lies, and a “trust me” attitude like it’s a slam dunk.
#LawyerLife #TrialPrepRealities #ClientLogic