Midwest Procrastinator

The only thing (for now) is if you end up trying to do anything in the files on your computer, make a backup copy of the folder *as it is now* to another place on your computer in case things go more sideways.

Being an adult sometimes means figuring out a way to modify the eufy vacuums so they don’t get stuck under furniture, essentially creating the least destructive battlebot known to man.

Like a dunk tank, everyone gets a go.

I don’t want to say the Good Omens fandom and Aziraphale/Crowley fanfic cured my WoW withdrawals overnight but I’m also not not saying that….

📌

0.15÷131,000,000 0.00000000114503816793893

Based on approximately 131m households in the US, here’s the math. Each household contributes 1 septillionth of a percent. Hope this helps.

A white calico cat with white, black, and orange splotches, white paws and face, sleeping on a blanket with a front paw to the side and the paw curled under.

I’m sure I didn’t actively teach her the dinosaur-arms sleeping method but here we are anyway.

Since the vaccine discourse is going around today…
I might only be here because someone else died and even so- since everyone has seen the life-long disability, there’s not a single anti-vaccer in my entire family.

Weather: humid, 87, feels like 99, storms possible
My brain: Chili. Make chili. All I want is chili

Dang, I would have put money on the tutu shoving him off a third time while escorting him up the pier.

I started a fight with the old MIL because I refused to eat american cheese.
And I’d do it again.

Ordered an Effin’ Birds wall calendar and a box of blue ink Tul pens for the bar association gift exchange in December so you could say I’m planning ahead.
Now to remember where I’ve stored them in 4 months this…

Every time I see the extortion racket targeting a university, I always worry mine will be next.
This is the first time I’ve heard of them target a public university though, so I’m interested to see how robust the “public funds can’t pay bribes” laws actually are.

post from tumblr user quietwingsinthesky: “(pa kent giving The Talk voice) See when a bull and a cow love each other very much, that’s how a calf is born [remembers his son came from space] of course if the bull comes from another farm, the cow might not end up taking, but that’s alright [remembers clark might be gay] sometimes bulls also love other bulls [remembers clark is an alien again] but if the bull is from another farm, he might have a calf if he fools around with bulls from here so he should be careful.”

dyingggg. please can one of my artist friends sketch this as a warm-up

I seem to remember AI generated content not being copyrightable. So even if they did try to sell it, wouldn’t anyone just be able to freely pirate and distribute it?
Just hoping that they won’t realize that profits black hole they’re creating until it’s too late (for them).

I appreciate the optimism USPS, but my package was 3 hours away 2 hours before my post office (at which I am required to have a PO Box because they don’t deliver to the house) closes for the day. I don’t think I’ll have the package by 9pm today. Just a hunch.

Photo of a woman labeled "me, shitposting" in front of a tornado labeled "the impending collapse of the United States"

Just because their nickname is bloobs doesn’t mean there’s a silent b in the (checks screenshots) start AND middle of the word blueberry.

My homegrown conspiracy theory is that carwashes are taking the place of mattress stores as the fronts for money laundering operations.

Nobody washes their car that much.

But I bet even fewer people buy a mattress in-store these days.

Also the number of real people users is not infinite, but bot-based platforms aren’t beholden to that reality. To me, logically, at some point, growth and use has to level out if the user base is real people. I’m ok with that, lol

Facetious (hopefully): I wonder what the chances are ICE gets involved and traffics them out of the country instead, solving zero problems for Texas.

This is the first year I have waged war on the crabgrass and I fear it shall not be the last.

i bought champagne at costco because it has to happen eventually and i don’t want to be caught unprepared

A bright sunny day. Nary a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze.
A power flicker. Hardly a blip, barely noticed.
Hours later, anticipation for a hot meal results in despair.
“God fucking damnit you’re a goddamn microwave you don’t need to know what the fuck time it is.”
Captains log 33:77 3-3-1555

A bright sunny day. Nary a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze.
A power flicker. Hardly a blip, barely noticed.
Hours later, anticipation for a hot meal results in despair.
“God fucking damnit you’re a goddamn microwave you don’t need to know what the fuck time it is.”
Captains log 33:77 3-3-1555

There’s a reason I got so proficient at T9 texting. I swear I was more accurate not even looking at the screen on my old flip phone than I am on the display keyboard on the iphone.

GO! MY LABUBU MISSILE! KILL!

A black cat sleeping on its back on a grey couch with a cow squishmallow in the background.

A front/side profile of a black cat, looking mildly petulant after being denied pizza goldfish crackers.

Imagine having to tell this face it can’t have pizza goldfish crackers.
It’s more likely than you think.

Tom Senya GIF Alt: Mr. Rogers in his house in a green sweater putting on a (frankly unsettling) clown mask.

Every once in a while my absolute clowning conspiracy theory brain tries to trick me into thinking that all the secrecy around Good Omens S3 is because they actually somehow got it negotiated back to 6 episodes and I just

I have a short-ish tumblr post in my drafts that sort of incorporated this issue (thought I published but apparently not). Not precisely this, and not so much “interrupted” as in “well orchestrated” but I absolutely agree. So many little things…