andi

red hot horse moon eclipse tonite! 🐎🔥

dunkinmaxxing

Me: I'm giving up using Microsoft Office until Easter.

Him: How do you think that's gonna go?

Me: It will be Excel Lent.

andi's axioms:
1. in life, if you're not sure you fit somewhere, give it a try.
2. in driving, if you're not sure you fit somewhere, don't. do not.

a stylized 3d render of a bunch of cats at an aquarium touch tank.

touch tank

my face is different, but i AM somebody! 👏👏👏

Compromise: federal government is going to be closed on Mondays and tuesdays from now on like a restaurant owned by white people

dunkin lady: sorry for staring... i thought you were somebody.
me: ☹️

#interaction

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.

CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?

DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.

C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?

DR: Now look

gonna start making up moon names now that i've learned all the real ones. frozen hog moon today, enjoy it 🌕❄️

The poster for a Netflix show called Jo Nesbo's Detective Hole that includes the tagline "Not every devil hides in the dark." Tobias Santelmann, who plays Detective Hole, is in the foreground. Joel Kinnaman is in the background sans old man makeup. This is all made funnier by the possessive, as well as the fact that the character's full name is Harry Hole.

These fraught times call for a show with what is either an intentionally or unintentionally hilarious title, and which I will be talking about for the rest of the year

A small, colorful hummingbird with a spiky black crest and iridescent green and bronze feathers perches on a wet green stem, tiny water droplets clinging to its head and back.

Black-crested Coquette at @tapirvalley.bsky.social

#hummingbirds #birds #nature #costarica

Nice acquaintance. Auld?

Jeopardy answer: "A literate spider on a farm sends messages to her non-Japanese friend who is obsessed with Japanese culture"

Jeopardy contestant gets the right question, which is "What is 'Charlotte's Weeb?'"

oh my god

i'm all too familiar with the experience of being passed over for an academic job, seeing who got the job, and going 'wtf, i'm *way* better than them'. usually, it's another white guy

finally, sunset is once again getting later! surely everything else will incrementally improve accordingly ☀️

a black switch with one side labeled O and the other labeled I. the I is depressed

here's a handy mnemonic for remembering how this type of switch works:

O = it's Off
I = It's on

A can of whipped cream that says REAL HEAVY WHIPPED CREAM

what you say when whipped cream shares a traumatic story from its childhood

I’m going to write this interaction down in my little book like all the others but i think I’ll put three question marks next to it

some of my best friends are including crude language and disrespectful comments, without constructive purpose 👍

Albums Rated: 253 Avg Rating: 3 Fav Decade: 2010 Fav Genres: Britpop, Indie, Electro | Worst Genres: Metal, Hard Rock, Hip Hop Worst Artists: Deep Purple Led Zeppelin (private note: i don't think these are actually my real favorite genres and worst genres! just a small sample size. (that said, i really do hate deep purple))

pleased to announce that after almost one year of this, my average rating is a perfect 3, which is exactly what the average rating should be. symmetry!

according to the liberation newspaper, documents dating back to a 2014 inspection by the French National Agency for the Security of Computer Systems reported a staggering detail: "the password of the louvre's video surveillance server was simply " louvre. "

the password to the louvre surveillance server was "louvre"

www.thesocialpost.it/2025/11/02/f...

Philip Larkin’s this be the verse mangled into Ozymandias, the text reads They Oz you up, your mandyias. They may not mean to, but they do. They give you vast and trunkless legs A sunken shattered visage too. But they were Ozzed up in their turn By Mandyias upon the sand Who half the time had wrinkled lips And half in sneering cold command. Oz hands on mandyias to man. Like mighty works atop a shelf Look on them early as you can Ye mighty and despair yourself

god: okay the day that is happening now is called today

angel: *writing* ok

god: and the day that just ended is called terday

angel: terday?

god: yes terday

angel: *writing* ok

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

CNN is reporting that @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social referred to a voter he was meeting as “my man” at a campaign event today, even though the 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution has made it illegal to own human beings since 1865 and remains the law in states including New York

“America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the American humorist Kin Hubbard, 'It ain’t no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.' It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: 'if you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?' There will also be an American flag no larger than a child’s hand – glued to a lollipop stick and flying from the cash register. Americans, like human beings everywhere, believe many things that are obviously untrue. Their most destructive untruth is that it is very easy for any American to make money. They will not acknowledge how in fact hard money is to come by, and, therefore, those who have no money blame and blame and blame themselves. This inward blame has been a treasure for the rich and powerful, who have had to do less for their poor, publicly and privately, than any other ruling class since, say Napoleonic times. Many novelties have come from America. The most startling of these, a thing without precedent, is a mass of undignified poor. They do not love one another because they do not love themselves.”

reading slaughterhouse 5 for the first time and i was absolutely knocked senseless by this passage, which is so true and relevant that it feels like it was pulled from a history book

I was saying everything is bad before it was cool. I was saying everything was bad while you were still dancing in the daisies

ha! evidence for universal grammar! (🙃)