Crooked Union Guy

Goddamn. Yeah this is more tense

Hahahahahahaha like “the stakes are just so high man”

Watching that Task show and it’s pretty dope. I wanna keep watching but there is a twist at the end of the first episode that is just stressful lol like the idea of having to deal with what happened in real life made me want to smoke a cig and pace

I DM’d Tilly Norwood and she replied back. Quick. 😉

Too not-racist for twitter
Too ugly for Instagram
Too stupid to die

911 operator: 911 what’s your emergency?

Me: I’m high and I can’t stop eating popcorn

Always a great addition to the team

lol accidentally saying bitch five words in and apologizing off beat

My old roommate worked in medical insurance hiring and she would always try to sell me on the idea of using LinkedIn for comedy promotion and I was like girl I cannot overstate how all good on that I am

Yeah don’t go nowhere. Dig your heels in. Fuck em

Hell yeah. Well I’m happy I get to see you on here being yourself. Always rooting for you. Also yeah I deleted Facebook off my phone but could go thru using fb links in messenger and use the browser version. Finally that stopped and I’m treating it like a clean break

Well I’m also glad I see you on here too. But I totally get wanting to bounce. It sucks cuz I jumped ship on twitter but ended up seeing a bunch of my friends here because they felt comfortable. Crazy that don’t see the value of a space that’s not a non stop argument about basic human rights

Poor and ugly is the greatest white friend of all: Me. Your friend.
Pat Sirois.

The key to having non-shitty white friends is that they can either be really attractive or well off financially but not both. Hot and broke? That’s a good time. Uggo with rich parents? They got a lot of love to give. Hot and wealthy? That’s a Kennedy. They’re gonna drive you off a bridge.

Thanks!

Heard that. Well, love seeing you here in the meantime homie! Hope you been good

You gon have to shoot me Mike 😉

I’m kidding that fuckin sucks man

Goddamn it. I just wanted a text based app so I can post my little dumb jokes and screen shot it and post it on IG. Also wanted it to not be ran by transphobe shit heels. You plan on dipping out?

I see that some folks are pissed at the bluesky lady. What’s the backstory on that?

Maybe get the jubilee guys down there to film the whole thing. Get a bunch of other future evil babies in the circle. I’d 100% tap dance around all those little fuckers

Gonna go back in time and debate hitler as a baby

YouTube video by Trending Today Hilarious!!! Jogger Tells TV Reporter 'snow is 'perfect for running' and falls on HER BUTT Live

This video predicted the future:

idiots posturing as experts, disconnected from reality, having their pseudoscientific opinions amplified by the media with zero push back, seeing it debunked in real time at the cost of human harm and there’s no correction issued

youtu.be/98mBl9d0dew?...

Man that new Superman fuckin rips

Me in England stoned trying to buy munchies but also earnestly trying to get along: Hey man yall got crisps?

That guy who drinks his son’s blood so he can look forever 41 sure is something. Does his son see him and be like “looking good, Dad.” To be polite?

I played this and then set the phone down to do put something away so it just looped for like 4 minutes and it just sounds like a podcast after a while

I hate Trump specifically because he’s never smoked crack

Pretty sure a video of a sweaty and cracked out Rob Ford in a shitty Toronto hotel room is the most effective anti drug campaign a Canadian child could ever see

Oh yeah I’m not unfamiliar with crack haha couldn’t reccomend but I think it’s cool that a mayor is smoking it on camera with gang members. That gets a hell yeah from me lol

Hell yeah I’m literally in a union meeting right now haha