50 cent is like rooney, tonnes of huge moments and achievements but you feel there always was potential for even better

the full kit drummer for conor benn really needs to be mirroring the marching snares and not resting for floor tom fills

clinton must have washed his cock for years after getting that orange nonce to suck him dry

even though she’s a good actor, i don’t like them being mean to rhea seehorn

sometimes you see a pretty girl taking a selfie mid haircut and that’s great and it truly worries me that eventually men might begin doing that

thought this cold had taken my sense of smell until i walked to work and past an old dude who had clearly shat himself

if i were a celebrity, i’d go above releasing a perfume and take on air fresheners or even canned smells for cars

now that america is run by a racist paedophile who shits himself, i would also like to express fond memories of how funny i found this cunts death to be

maybe i did come up with the phrase four twenty

as a vegan and left leaner, my enemy is usually the person with a picture of a car as their profile picture on facebook

my theory is that he’s called sgt lockjaw due to his heroic devouring of pussy getting his jaw all askew

jk rowling should just saw her fanny off and go live in a cave

melanias hat reminds me of the zildjian mega bell ride

was worried for a bit last night that i learned who that scumbag kirk was and that he wasn’t immediately pronounced dead. what a relief

what a treat getting to have an indoor cigarette at singapore airport

sometimes during the preflight demonstration i imagine the air hostess in nothing but the inflatable life jacket

how the hell are there 250 modern family episodes ive seen funnier execution videos

emailed rachel sennott last night and had incredible restraint to not paw at myself when her automated reply came in

mangetout by wet leg reminds me of in loco parentis by super hands

i’ve got a soft spot for the german women’s team because i have a soft spot for minge and kett

it’s so hot i’m practically medium rare

i think humanity should abandon clothes and that way we’d have a lot less obesity

aww it’s my brothers anniversary of trying ketamine

i wonder if brad pitts mates call him bradders

main idiotic decision hampering my day so far is forgetting to wear a belt

how did she not call that video “bonnie blue man group”?

if i could stop dreaming about shopping and waking to see ive got fuck all food in that would rock

i hope they announce the new pope at 4:20

drunk in the scrapyard ( 4th coffee at work

we’re about to begin seeing the worst people in the world celebrating their birthday quarters instead of only their birthday months aren’t we