Nyx, a backup doll 🔞

the way my pacifier *rocketed* out of my mouth when my roommate walked in

I don’t think she saw anything… other than me in a pile of plushies

like apparently coming out as a little to my therapist X_X

it’s funny to me that there’s a 1-2 month stretch I barely remember due to pain killers and anxiety meds. I’m still running across things I did during that period

they say he started as a young child: love bombing and gaslighting animals in the woods outside his mother’s house. Makes you sick just thinking about it

perfectly healthy individual here- feeling like I’m not good enough to have opinions on things

it’s really weird how much my social anxiety persists in online spaces. It’s why I generally don’t repost things- it feels almost like initiating a social interaction.

I have a hard time even liking the posts of people outside of my social orbit. It feels *rude* somehow.

the only downside to having a side shave is that it would look really weird if I tried to put my hair in pigtails

I’m so starved for domination, at this point a girl could give me a hard look and it would dissolve my ego like cotton candy

am I flying across the country next month just to get hypnotized?

uh, I assume other things may happen as well

nature’s candy!

nor are they supposed to be able to taste sweetness, but I'm built different

I need a caregiver because a disturbingly large portion of my daily intake takes the form of candy

at least I can laugh at getting a “Sir-uh, ma’-, S-…???” in retrospect.

I honestly would rather not be perceived in general.

me being a social recluse is probably to blame here, but I still get a jolt of anxiety when I’m gendered correctly in public.

It feels like I’ve been handed a sweater that’s too large for me, and I’m unsure if I’m pulling it off or if I look ridiculous drowning in its folds.

I once played tetris nonstop after a traumatic event because someone told me that it would help.

and now I just associate falling blocks with trauma

pulling some Twelfth Night shit during sex to satisfy my inner fujoshi

bright pink dye has been acquired. I just need to wait for my incision to heal a little more, and then it’s back to tha old me

even worse :o

I feel like I should have picked up more weird kinks than I actually did from watching Return to Oz as a child

I have a psychological problem where I only feel truly safe when I’m in the arms of a predator

nope, just estradiol, and spironolactone until I got an orchi.

I’m ok with having small breasts in the end, I think.

the only thing that phd is going to stand for is “pretty-haired doll.”

I am a sleepy kitty and I deserve to nap 16 hours a day, regardless of what doctors say

oh, the screams?

she’s just doing some Omelas child regression

applying ointment to my incision and coping by thinking of it as sealant for the doll seam

a funny spinoff term is "okoge" for fag hags, referring to burnt rice stuck to the bottom of a kettle

"okama" literally means "kettle," but it's a term that I'd roughly translate as "faggot." It's derogatory, but it's also been reclaimed a bit in a similar fashion.

Text extraction from a videogame. The line, 「御釜祓いが行われようとしていた。」is erroneously translated as "Okama purification was about to take place."

bad google translate! (alternatively: "me stepping into the shower")

feeling left out because I never got the progesterone horniness- it just rounded out my breasts a little.

and yes, *sigh*, I tried putting them up my butt

I’m gonna be taking a trip to NYC in mid January, on the off chance I know anyone there