Cherry Pop Amore

I appreciate everyone being patient with me as I figure out my next move. It's not often I pull back the curtain like this and allow myself to be vulnerable. Sometimes I need someone who can get me outside of my own head long enough to see that I'm still making progress.

I would probably feel more confident about what I'm doing and have more definitive answers about where I'm headed next if I have something more consistent that gives me a bit more structure.

But right now, I feel lost without any clear direction. I feel a bit out of practice and I don't want to lose these skills. Then I come down too hard on myself because I get too hung up on how I look doing the moves thinking I'm still not doing them right.

Getting a taste of how things are run everywhere I've been lately and being inspired by what other people are doing and having all sorts of ideas on what I want to do when I eventually start performing again has all been great. Keeping my creative juices flowing has kept me going this whole time.

I'll be honest, these last few months have been a bit of a challenge for me. It's been very touch and go lately trying to find my footing in dance classes and getting my legs back under me as a performer.

It makes my heart so happy to see myself as the woman I was meant to be, and to have such good supportive friends along for the ride who have all had such nice and encouraging things to say to me every step of the way. <3

Have you ever loved women so much that you wanted to become one? This is how my story begins. When I see this adorable chubby redhead staring back at me, I think to myself, "Hello beautiful, so glad to finally meet you. Where have you been my whole life?"

Not enough people have seen Adam Ruins Everything skillfully debunking everything they think they know about the way things are in this world, and it shows.

"Never made it as a wise man, couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing . . ."

I don't know how else to describe it, but seeing this adorable chubby redhead boss lady staring back at me has awakened something deep inside of me. And it's telling me I need to take this leap of faith and give this a fair chance to be sure this is something I really want.

I think it's finally dawned on me that learning to be a drag queen was the light bulb that went off in my head that made me realize I want to move forward with becoming a trans woman. I love being Cherry Pop. She makes me happy. This is who I was meant to be. Taking steps towards making it happen.

I normally take a larger size than this up top when I want more coverage around my middle. But this shirt really spoke to me, and I was feeling bold and daring. This is your sign to let the world know you're serious and seize your day like a boss.

This Journey band tee seems fitting considering where I've been in life lately. The road ahead looks a bit clearer to me now and I'm feeling better about what I need to do to get there.

I stand on business like the boss lady that I am. I said what I said.

Whiskey Cherry is feeling frisky doing hot fat girl shit this summer like teasing the camera for bikini boudoir pictures. ;c)

"I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it . . ."

Wishing you peace and love and a guilt free summer of pride from your friendly neighborhood chubby redhead boss lady. <3

Performing on stage with other strong badass powerful women as Dark Cherry gave me such incredible thrills, and it made me feel like I could conquer the world. I would love nothing more than to experience it all over again performing for a live audience and sharing the stage with some of them again.

But did you know I almost took on an entirely different identity to reflect the shift in my tone when I started claiming and owning my new found power and control? Dark Cherry would have been a femme domme burlesque vigilante justice character known as The Scarlet Divinyl in an alternate universe.

I had so much fun learning to be naughty while harnessing my divine femme domme energy during my Dark Cherry phase as I got stronger and felt more empowered. I didn't realize how badly I needed femme domme burlesque in my life at that point.

Looking back, it's probably for the best that I went in a different direction when I finally decided on my stage name. I didn't really want to box myself in too much before I really had a chance to get started establishing myself as a performer.

But did you know I almost settled on a completely different name? There's an alternate universe where I would have gone by Bella Pancia Rotonda instead. That's Italian for "beautiful round belly." I was always quite proud of mine, and I don't usually mind showing off a little bit here and there.

Belly dance was my gateway into the world of drag and burlesque. I don't think I would have turned out the same way as a performer without it. A lot of the skills I learned in belly dance came in handy along the way. I mostly needed to slow myself down and make it look sexy.

There are studies that suggest being fat and queer and neurodivergent are all connected, and I would be inclined to believe it. Being caught in the middle of this matrix, making sense of how it's all connected and what it means to me, it pretty much confirms everything I already knew about myself.

I've known for the longest time that I deviated a bit from the norm in some ways. My interests and preferences have always been a bit unconventional. When I started exploring queerness and questioning where I stand that way, things started making a lot more sense to me.

What a long strange trip it's been learning to be a drag queen who sometimes does burlesque. This lifestyle has certainly been full of surprises, and I've learned a lot about myself doing what I've been doing. Imagine what more I'll learn as a trans woman the further I go along?

That said, I also appreciate being in better shape now that I'm learning to take better care of myself. And I appreciate what my fat body can achieve these days since I started taking dance classes almost a year and a half ago. Hard to believe I've come so far already.

Learning to be happy and confident in a fat body and truly embracing my size and refusing to apologize for taking up space will always be one of my greatest accomplishments in life and one of the biggest power moves I could have ever made.

My relationship with my body has always been a bit unconventional. My body and I have been through a lot together. Coming to terms with how I felt about being fat meant unlearning a lot of the lies that our society likes to tell other people my size about how being fat is bad or wrong.

Coming up with a solo routine to Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" for a burlesque show I was in made me realize how gender-affirming it was to perform to that song for a live audience. I was very proud of myself that night.