bee !!

your blood test results are here 🥰 you have arthritis and leprosy and generalized anxiety disorder and you're gay and you're going to die in six to eight hours 💖

made fan art for my favourite horror movie

mike's flaccid lemonade :(

In Donkey Kong 64, the Giant Spider miniboss can only be fought once. Modifying the game to fight it a second time makes it unceremoniously explode. While this appears to be a glitch, examining the code reveals it was actually deliberately added for the developers' own amusement.

MORE LIKE 28 GAYS LATER HAHAHAHA OH AH OUGH FUCK

[i tumble down a set of stairs i did not previously see and land on my head, snapping my neck. my body is discovered three hours later and i am pronounced dead at the scene]

middle surgery

also, nonbinary people who are cool with both gendered and non-gendered titles can scoot out of the way if someone wants in one of the spots they occupy. like if they're both girlfriend and partner, but someone takes the "partner" spot, now they're *just* girlfriend

"sorry i'd like to date you but my boyfriend slot is full. girlfriend space is free tho, if you're cool with transitioning"

tho if they marry their girlfriend and she becomes their wife, they can get another girlfriend

guy who's poly but can only have one partner per gendered title. so they can have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and a partner, but only one of each

we'll piss those pants when we get to them

check this out

getting shot in the head with a sniper and my body launches into a perfect backflip and lands upright leaning against the wall in a cunty position. The soldier who shot me has nightmares about it every day until killing his wife and then himself on March 28, 2043

(what!)

punk

Sunny Day Police State

ACAB for Cutie

kroger brand spray cheese

imagine sticking one of these bad boys up your nose and filling your sinuses with cheese

if chaser rap was a thing they'd probably say shit like "she saw the tv glow, i saw my peepee grow"

dipping flaccid cock in deep fryer asmr

every time i see an unattended ear bud i stuff it up my butt and then take it back out and put it back where i found it. this is praxis

or for my transmasc pals, wearing a stuffed bra on top of a binder, getting bottom surgery and tucking

transgendermaxxing. taking hrt to grow boobs and then binding. tucking but also wearing a packer. reaching levels of trans the world has never seen

post-nut apocalypse

news flash buddy! i'll have you know i'm about to go fuck myself!

god what i wouldn't give to be found dead on the side of i-65 with a gun in my hand, a grenade in my pussy, and enough alcohol in my system to kill a horse. cause of death? god struck me down because he saw me as a threat

guy who can only cum with a trap beat playing and stroking his shit with a triplet flow

2025 limited tone zelda fan art commission in grayscale on a simple stage, a two piece band plays loud dumb music. A gorons hands and sticks flutter across his drumset while a zora frontman screams into a mic, clutching a horseshoe crab fashioned into a guitar.

i call these bitches picky eaters
cos they won't lick my icky peter

ohohoho, riddle me THIS

[i press a comically large red button, opening the metal door behind me. fog pours in as the door slowly raises up through the top of its frame. from the fog emerges an elderly woman, wielding a flintlock pistol. she shoots me in the back of the head, killing me instantly]