Mhifi

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#Tsukiodyssey

Hehe winter
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#tsukiodyssey

More winter tsuki designs #tsukiodyssey

We’re doing a blanket drive! Instead of engaging in mindless consumerism today, donate to cover the cost of one blanket in the north, approx. $38USD at tinyurl.com/sameerproject-north or $90USD in the south at tinyurl.com/sameerproject-south

Please give me other ways to navigate neurotypical conversation!!

Cant think of anymore and will add if i do, but these only apply to my experience with neurotypical perception of me. Ex pretending like youre sleeping doesnt work if youre someone known to be uptight or energetic. I have a natural fawn effect so most of these play into that

Gives you more time to think, and if they keep talking, thats fine, youve validated them by responding, and if they trail off, you have a few more 'rights' to indicate interest while you prepare your next answer if they dont talk again.

Not knowing when its your turn to speak - using repeating phrases to take up more space. Do this quieter than the person talking or at max, their speaking volume. When you THINK theyre about to stop, you can say phrases that can repeat like 'right... right right!' Or 'yeah... oh yeah, right...'

This is okay i THINK bc neurotypicals generally turn to face you when theyre interested anyway, and some ppl will feel more comfy and talk more animatedly once you turn 'correctly' towards them

Body language tells: if you want to indicate interest, face both feet with toes towards the person, and your chest towards the person. If youre alr facing the wrong way, you can make a slight show of waiting until someone says something interesting, then turning your body towards them w a vocal mhm

Fiddling w hair is good but recently tiktok has told me that seems like flirting. Boo. Now i fiddle w clothes or any hanging strings i have. Thing in pocket is okay, but sometimes hand in pocket indicates disinterest. Not good.

While waiting for someone to speak - hands can lay in lap, clasped in front, can do a single little QUIET clap and then clasp hands to indicate 'oh, i get it!!', can do a similar open palm up gesture towards the person and then retract hand to say 'right'/'oh, ive never thought of that'

Open palm out usually with eye contact, and a little head tilt, shrug, or head bow. Depends on the situation and idk how it works. Observe the locals on this.

Hand gestures cont - open palm out to the person youre talking to, usually prefaced with 'what about you' or just a simple 'yknow, like...'? Its to indicate 'i am done speaking, and now id like for you to speak', esp when in our tone we dont quite do the right lilt needed to indicate finishing

Hand gestures: also a slippery slope, but i use these when i dont know conversation cadence and want to urge the other person to speak when its appropriate to speak. I have a lot of trouble with figuring out how to interject or when its my turn so i use these gestures to move convo:

Pretending like youre wrong. Similar tactic: say oh yeah, I mean i HEARD this (even if you researched it) and push it to a video you saw or whatever. That way it sounds like youre just sharing info instead of correcting someone (which ofc sucks bc why wouldnt i want to hear from an expert?)

Other filler phrases: sighing (careful usage! Has to be like a sympathetic sigh and not a terse one!), 'mhm', 'yeah', 'right', 'for sure'. Statements can be harsh! I find im percieved better when i add "i think..." or "i feel like..." or, "maybe...", or even validating their responses first.

I cant speak on where the pauses are since theyre different by region and culturally, but those pauses to indicate uncertanity are essential. Id rather risk them thinking im a bit weird in speech pattern and cadence than thinking im a self righteous and snobby mf. Do what you have to.

Fill in the blanks for you and its easier on neurotypical psyche. As an autistic person i find that i like to confirm even things precieved to be obvious because im wrong so often, so being gentle w the approach makes them more receptive to constant questioning which can feel like interrogation

Neurotypicals think we're being sarcastic. Typical response 'OBVIOUSLY i meant left (correcting me makes me feel like youre attacking me)'. Ofc it isnt obvious to us. Make everything a question, AND add that ... for extra confirmation time. A simple 'did you mean...' is gentler and sometimes they

Slowing down your speech: neurotypicals hate how we speak. Blunt + no natural breaks = they assume we're snobby and correcting people for fun. Always sound unsure and make statements into questions. Ex someone says go right when they mean left? Say 'wait, did you... mean left? :))' NOT 'left'.

Similar: pretending to be spacey. Did process something? Blink slowly and say sorry i blanked out. We did not blank out we just process slowly.

Can pretend to wake up slowly. Do slow blinks for processing to figure out what they said if you have audio processing issues. Can sometimes compel people to talk quieter around you which is better on the senses. A little "hm?" Goes wonders for the fawning effect and ppl assume youre endearing slow

Feigning sleep/pretending to be sleepy. Main tactic. Works better bc I look sickly all the time and wear a mask. Pretending to sleep in public to cut off visual stimulation by saying im sleepy = cant see stimuli = less processing power allocated to reacting accordingly to people

All of these are so much easier w a mask! And you hide your cheekbones and mouth and nose which can send wrong signals AND w a mask on sometimes you can lie and say youre tired and sick so your facial expressions arent catching up (i dont hate you, im just tired excuse!!)

Widening the eyes indicates interest. Raising eyebrows does the same thing. Can grimace without reaction. Can stick my tongue out and bite at my lips without sending wrong message. Tilting the head is good enough for confusion. Scrunching eyebrows indicates empathy (in U.S. society where im from)

Mask on. Always. Not only bc the pandemic is a real thing and as an immunocompromised person that shit is no joke and bc the disabled community deserves to live, but also you make less facial expressions w a mask on. Scrunching your eyes constitutes a smile without the mouth

The obvious first: headphones (sony xm4, talk function off, ambient sound off), sunglasses (inside and at night), sensory clothing (strings on hoodie, phone strap thats pullable, something in my pocket thats quiet to fiddle with)

Things ive done as an autistic person to make masking easier on me or in general surviving in neurotypical spaces easier on me: a thread for my own memory bc i keep forgetting my own techniques

#autism #autisticcopingmechs #neurodivergent #someonegetmemoretechniques