Cosm🌸

But seriously it’s just been hectic and I haven’t had the time to draw or given the chance to sit down and do anything creative wise - it’s rather depressing!

You know what? Life has been super stressful and a lot of things have been happening over the last couple of weeks - especially with college and irl things.

Imma take a long break! See ya in the new year or something!

May post art in discord dms or server; or maybe TikTok but I am out - peace!

It’s all for science, he’s gotta crack the code on their uses. I’m Metal Sonic in this instance lol

[ #sonicoc #sonicocs #metalsonic #wip #ocxcanon ]

She is beauty and grace; I wouldn’t mind if she punches me in the face

Things are still meh but have another wip to fill the void

[ #oc #ocsky #pokemontraineroc ]

ITS A SECRET ! You’re welcome!!!!

If I say it, it won’t be a surprise!!

Nothing makes me more happy than getting spam liked by @kiull90.bsky.social

Forever my fav artist and mutual, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Definitely made my day ;; so all the hearts for you 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Life gives me lemons and I’m allergic to citrus so I can’t even use them

I try to focus on her during difficult times because she makes me really happy ;; it overrides the sadness

[ #sonicoc #sonicocs #wip ]

But yeah if I don’t end up posting much for the foreseeable future - it isn’t you [lol], it’s that stuff irl is hurting and I’m trying to stay afloat despite me wanting to crash out and feeling dread

So.

A lot is happening and I’m kinda mentally and emotionally drained and trying NOT to give in to the depression and that sad phase. I’m kinda scared tbh and it’s like, there’s not much I can do right now to help the situation but hope and pray.

I feel really numb from a lot of things rn.

And like, if you gotta ask “Kav are you crying right now?”

That is such an obvious yes and I absolutely miss my coolest former best friend more than anything because he didn’t have to get me, but he was there and would tell me something that would make me laugh about it all and see it differently

But it’s kinda hard to keep playing that silly, carefree front when it’s kinda burning around me right now and I feel the crushing weight of my own emotions because of the lack of respect and honesty, because they needed someone to sit there and take their crap bc they’re not happy with themselves

Because despite what a shit life I have lived, for the majority of my life because yeah it was TERRIBLE, I only want to try and be happy and find joy in the things I’m doing. Have fun and laugh with friends and just - chill and vibe, be silly and make art.

I don’t wanna cry and be miserable anymore

That whole situation, which I’m still living with, because I’m told what she is saying or trying to say about me is still ongoing.

It’s like, cool. Okay. And is making me want to cry into myself and become all the more hyper-vigilant about whom I let get close to me.

Honestly I think I’m a bit more fucked up about it all when I think about it more, ugh

Like did I deserve that? My anxieties and bpd says yeah probs

But it kinda hurts to just finally have it said out loud, even in a text

Like what did I do? I did my best and it’s nothing in the end

Ruining the image that we were good, making me feel like the amount of trying to fit the mold and be there for you; to try and understand you, even if I can’t because I don’t lie and I’m super honest about things that I don’t vibe with - and I ignored it because besties

It’s a little fucked up that people can’t be honest - like tell me you dislike me instead of keeping me around due to your unresolved dependent issues and other mental health issues you’re ignoring.

Because like, you might think it’s kindness to stay but you’re ruining me when I find out eventually

Like… how do you come back from that, you know? And people whom I’ve trusted so much kinda just - might as well drag a serrated blade thru my chest repeatedly because it’s the same feeling.

I do my best to be like, patient - like I get people have issues but man idk.

Yeah no, so every time I do be thinking that someone likes me - err, wrong, they’re talking mad shit about me and it’s like “oh. I kinda thought we were good friends”

And even as of recent, my former bestie and cousin, for such a long time was talking crap about me constantly behind my back.

Speaking of feelings and also trauma, I automatically think people don’t like me.

Why? Because it hasn’t been explicitly said.

And BIG NOTE, I’m not saying this to have people telling me that they like me. It’s just my brain.

My brain is stupid and silly. Such a silly silly brain.

Also it does not help that I just look at my feelings and think they’re just a hassle for ANYONE to deal with - and that’s truly a shame because I really do be funny and make light of absolutely everything in my life that tends to be on fire! Things’ll turn out fine, probably not soon but eventually

I struggle a lot to be open about my emotional state because one part is “man I have actual feelings ugh” and the other part is like “down in front, loser I’m thinking about my current hyperfixation!”

I create so much wips for nothing

[ #sonicoc #sonicocs #wip ]

I love that idea of love transcending universes and timelines; that characters are always connected, no matter the circumstances ;;

That they have this string bringing them back to each other in the end

And if Metal Kav and Kav were also to meet; Metal Kav would fall for Kav immediately

Kav is, from my pov, the embodiment of love and life

An organic Metal Sonic would do a double take, mention Kav’s beauty but he is loyal to his Metal Kav and that is just so SWEET

Except Organic Metal Sonic would be absolutely crazy over her because he’s got a screw lose or two, maybe idk

I’m awake now and the thoughts - Metal Kav DOES NOT have the same appeal as Kav would.

And if Metal Sonic and Metal Kav were to meet, he would look at them and tell them “You’re an abomination of what is supposedly a replication of my beloved.”

Metal Kav has no aura and gets no bitches lol

You ever, just not sleep and you draw peak? Me neither but we keep throwing whatever ideas and hope something sticks lol (currently thinking of an au of Metal Kav and not-metal Metal Sonic lol)

[ #sonicoc #sonicocs #metalsonic #ocxcanon ]

You ever, just not sleep and you draw peak? Me neither but we keep throwing whatever ideas and hope something sticks lol (currently thinking of an au of Metal Kav and not-metal Metal Sonic lol)

[ #sonicoc #sonicocs #metalsonic #ocxcanon ]

not my cleanest but i really wanted to draw her </333

#shinobukocho #knyfanart #kny #demonslayerfanart #demonslayer #kimetsunoyaiba #fanart

Lyn has finally joined the network