Shoulda remembered that she’s the hunter.

Bring back patronage! Sort of joking.

It makes the week prior’s nachos/ice cream taste extra shameful

Bram Stroker’s Jackula

Off for cunnilingus but on for elbow nibbling during the p in v part.

read this while pooping. Good omen.

I will support any New York mayoral candidate who promises to put the apple back in the big apple by blowing up the entirety of broadway and replacing it with an apple orchard.

To the tune Zombie:

🎶in my bread/ in my breaeaead/ lunch meat lunch meat lu-uh-unch ma-eet ma-eet ma-eeet🎶

I’m sorry the Blue Jays lost

Tell this to my 3 year old who refuses to share her candy.

The Andrew formally known as Prince

I’m a judgment sedan owner that lives in the deep south. Where can I get some of these cards?

You’re too good for anyone that would use ChatGPT to write a text. Everyone is too good for that

DYK: if they ever break up, heroin becomes legal?

Did you know that humans belong to the species homo soupiens which is Latin for ”wise soup”? We’re all soup!

is Scar from the lion king short for Scarlett?

so interesting to hear someone say this because I’M old and all I just like non-weirdo jazz now. Like duke ellington. Nothing that Sonic Youth might claim to be inspired by.

And they should be impressed by how far you’ve come since your time at DSAISTC

What did you expect with a degree from DumbShitAssIncompetent State Technical College?

Autumnal query: if I eat enough blankets, will I become a blanket?

Problem: The satanic soul market is how we end up with those ads in the first place

I’m the reason that the Baton Rouge Children’s Museum checks that everyone is wearing shoes. Does that count?

Liking your own skeets is an important form of self-affirmation

“It is?”

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahya!”

Reelin‘ in the Death Threats

Scott Turner’s nose is so far up DJT’s ass that he’s now sniffing his brain. #lookingforwardtofy25coccompetition :(

Strikingly similar to a recent HUD research grant

www.hudexchange.info/news/hud-ann...

Take Fruit Avenue to the 494/ meet me right in front of the produce store

First, I hate that I feel compelled to say this. Second, you don’t need fear factor since JR also hosted the man show.

I’m sorry that’s what you go through, but i trust you keep on smilin’