@holycrayons.bsky.social
Geordie. Pyjamas. Some kids. You know the script.
Smashed it.
07.10.2025 13:29 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0Oh. I got him back.
....good.
😐
My angelic, Bowie-eyed, second born has been the actual human embodiment of Satan himself this fine morning.
In the event that nursery staff happen to misplace him over the next three hours, I'm just saying, I won't be really mad with them.
Morning.
07.10.2025 07:31 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Just tauntingly skimming the outer ring.
06.10.2025 20:02 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0VIBE.
06.10.2025 19:48 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0She has promised to make me my favourite King Prawn Pathia.
06.10.2025 19:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Yep. I was happier living in ignorance.
06.10.2025 18:25 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Imagine being in my head!
06.10.2025 18:24 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Or have you all got piss stained boxers?
I don't know which is worse actually.
I think I preferred life before this conversation.
'The Perineum Trick'
Spousal Unit has just told me that pressing one's aintcha stops stray droplets of piss going on one's kegs.
Now, I know the same applies for delaying a yoghurt spill, but are blokes actually standing at communal urinals fiddling their barse/biffin's bridge, post-piss?
I asked my mum and she reminded me that I'm a 39 year old mother of three, I don't get sick days and VHS went defunct over twenty years ago.
In all, it was a bit of a kick in the tits of a day.
Morning.
06.10.2025 08:17 — 👍 59 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0LOL
06.10.2025 07:27 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I've heard of this phenomena but never had the "pleasure". I just want my duvet on the sofa and my Loony Tunes cartoons VHS on the telly.
06.10.2025 07:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Would let him fuck my mum/10
06.10.2025 07:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Look at his LEGS 🥹
06.10.2025 06:57 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Well that's nice. Having pre-ordered months ago, I completely forgot about this.
Hopefully my current cold doesn't kill me before I get a chance to read it 🥰
I screamed
05.10.2025 19:13 — 👍 289 🔁 83 💬 2 📌 5My new sexual identity is based solely around Charlie Hunnam's Geordie accent.
05.10.2025 12:35 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0The one that David Bowie turns into in Labyrinth. Assuming it morphs back into Bowie at will. I'm no owl molester.
05.10.2025 12:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Wetherspoons. If you don't recognise spoons' crockery I consider you the most fortunate and poshest person I know.
04.10.2025 17:48 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
As if anyone could guess where I am by a close up of some crockery.
04.10.2025 14:54 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0I'd love a new wok, thank you for asking, James.
04.10.2025 10:08 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Spoilt rotten frankly.
03.10.2025 18:37 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Exactly. Absolute shit show.
03.10.2025 16:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Are you okay? You've barely touched your whisky decanter commemorating the wedding of Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew.
03.10.2025 16:32 — 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 1I don't drink tea, Huw.
03.10.2025 16:28 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0I stopped counting after no. 6.
03.10.2025 16:22 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
