S🌟tella

Chui pauvre mais j'ai les deux. Yuhuuuu

Strength isn’t always loud.
Staying out of stupid games? Now THAT’S power. 🇪🇸

😂😂😂

Fox News had a plastic surgeon comment on the war in Iran, so I’m not asking, I’m begging a giant asteroid — any asteroid — to take one for the team and make contact with our civilization

Just closed up the maintenance check on our last passenger airplane for a while. Freighters for the foreseeable future. This makes me happy.

Boxes don't give a fuck if the in-flight entertainment system isn't working.

Single-panel cartoon by Joe Lemon from 2020. Scene is a Missing Persons Bureau office, with balloons and cake and everyone wearing festive hats. All the PC screens show the Google home page. One guy is on his mobile, saying: "We're on it, Chief. I've already started a search party."

Modern police methods

I’m genuinely surprised by how nice I am

kind of crazy that if you have enough money and don't like what you see in the media, you can just buy up every film studio, news station, and social media app and change it

her: We need to talk

me: As you wish

her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy

me: Inconceivable!

her: That's it, I’m leaving you

me: I think you're bluff—

her: *slams the door*

me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something

Genie: And your third wish?

Me: Reveal the hidden valley where they make delicious ranch dressing.

This day in history. 306. Martyrdom of Adrian of Nicomedia, Roman magistrate who was so impressed by the obstinance of the Christians he was torturing that he became a Christian and eventually patron saint of fallacy and gullibility.

What really separates us from the other animals are opposable thoughts.

The best way to avoid an expensive divorce is by not getting married in the first place.

Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.

Steinbeck: What did you think of my draft of 𝘖𝘧 𝘔𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘢𝘯?

Publisher: It needs more characters.

Steinbeck: I'll see what I can do.

I separate my non-recyclables by white trash, euro trash and trailer trash.

I gave up drinking alcohol last year and it was the longest 20 minutes of my whole life..

Rehab is for quitters.

KFC not messing around...

A world full of content with so little meaning.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. (This psychoanalysis stuff is easy.)

My drafts are depressing me.

Found a bag of sweets in the glove box I’d forgotten about.

Bet you can’t stop at just one catastrophe.

When I shake my ass it isn’t art or seduction, it’s probably a medical emergency.

Looks like electing people whose response to the adage that ‘those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it’ was to NOT learn history OR any lessons isn’t working out that well.

Not sure which is worse, wasting time on Bluesky or wasting time checking if Bluesky is working.

I’m always very open to learning new things, but after watching a video on how to prepare ramen in prison it occurred to me that this is one skill that I hope to never have to use.

i only worry about three things 1. everything that npppened 2. everything that is happening 3. everything that will happen

this world has crushed my gentle spirit