🖤🌿

“no one's asked me a question in 45 min-”
“so what do you do?”

“so fozzie, i heard what happened, and from one broken heart to another, i know EXACTLY what you need”
“a hug”
“no. OH no!! no nononononoNO. when kermit broke up with me, there was only one thing that made me feel better”
“a hug”
“no, would you stop with the hugs already?”

thank you bonney. thank you for being born!

dear kitchen, are you trapped?

♫ and I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
and cried.
cause I felt
nothing ♫

I don’t skate through life david, I walk through it. in really nice shoes

“my arthritic cat was on ben afflecks”
“huh?”
“don’t make me say it again”

“no! murph! the grinch is SO in right now!”
“what?? WHAT??”

“I don't have time for this, loser-kawa. I have to lock up the club room, so move your ass lazy-kawa”
“I don't like these names”
“SHITTY-KAWA THEN”
“now you're just being vulgar”

i can't let kermit down! he's my father! UHH UH MENTOR! mentor!

my outer name is kyle, my inner name is sawson

I said i’d get you your soul coins, and you said you’d give me your army

when people know you're mentally ill, most people either want to ignore it completely or they treat you like you're strange, scary, or fascinating. very few people are actually good at the middle ground

“my arthritic cat was on ben afflecks”
“huh?”
“don’t make me say it again”

and, b story, jason’s HUNGRY

“you feel better around me?”
“uh huh”
“otherwise you feel lonely?”
“uh huh”
“… do you think,, I deserve to live?”
“of course I do!”

♫ no I am not afraid to die,
it’s every breath that comes before ♫

I was really scared no one would like me, so I didn’t even try talking to people at first. but then I realized. I actually needed to put myself out there or i’d just be alone

“I don’t want to wait for some arbitrary day to start living. I want to get married... now”
“but I have gym”

justin. look at me. justin timberlake will not be on this podcast

“yeah, well, allison's a complicated person”
“she's my favorite person”

“i’ve never been on a date”
“me neither. wanna go on one?”

ey quack i’m a fire duck quack quack. yeah I tried to be a fire truck but I said it wrong. and now i’m a fire duck quack quack. what you’re looking at is a fully fledged duck. but the feathers are flames quack quack

PATTY WHAT UP WHY YOU WORKING GIRL?? it’s saaaaturday. and it’s a paaaaaarty. I got reese’s pieeeeces. get your booty dooooown here— is that too much?

josh has to leave in *four* minutes

tweet us on facebook!

“hey steph if things were different, would you want to go to homecoming with me?”
“i'd like that, pete”

I wish I wasn’t watching it all happen from behind the desk, you know? it feels like everyone’s growing up all around me

as long as we have you, there’s still a chance we can save robin. you hear me usopp?

I wish I wasn’t watching it all happen from behind the desk, you know? it feels like everyone’s growing up all around me