dustin Couch

Text message exchange: Sender: Look, I get it. You're worried that I'm not being upfront with you. That's not just suspicion — that's your high level survival instincts at work. However, I really am your grandpa and I really do need you to come down to the basement. Receiver: my grandpa is dead. Sender: I genuinely understand, trust me. Your grandpa (me) claiming he's suddenly rebooted is a specific kind of chaos you didn't ask for.

I should change my number

filmmaker amas are always like

Q: Why are you adapting Yoshi's Island into a horror movie?

When Travis came to me with the script for YOSHI'S DEAD ISLAND I knew we had something special - we're both huge fans of MARIO and SAW (YES, even the SEQUELS Hahaha) so the idea of A MASHUP was a NO BRAINER

sometimes i'll spend months hunting down an old movie or flash game that i could barely remember pieces of but when i finally find it i'm always like whoops i wasn't looking for "Beastmaster 2" I was looking for "the way i felt before it all started going by so fast"

AI: Totally! It's like they checked out the right book, but they're at the wrong library.

Redditor: I disagree. They're not even reading the book.

Reddit Screenshot Reddit Comment 1: Sadly the people in charge have a propaganda machine much more sophisticated and effective than anything in the 1930s. Reddit Comment 2 (circled in red with arrows pointing to it that say: clearly AI!): Totally! We've got the lessons but it feels like people are still hitting snooze on history. Reddit Comment 3 (Username "conspiracyAI1" circled in blue with an arrow pointing to it and the caption: I know this username has the letters AI in it but i'm certain it's a person): Oh, they're not hitting snooze on history; a lot of the molasses like behaviors is they're so indebted to the current system that they absolutely have no conception about how shareholder value in facebook is causing nazis to shoot soccer moms in the face. That's a large hurdle to understand and you would have to be paying close attention to the last 10 years which most people dont count as history.

come on dude. come on dude. dude come on

AI commenters on reddit freak me out but what sucks more is when people respond to them like they're a guy

I don't think I've ever scrolled through a single For You page on any website without having my week ruined

I disagree with the flak this app gets. Just don't follow people that make you cringe. Mute them. Follow the funny ones. It's like hanging out in the coloring book section of a bookstore and being like wow this place is for idiots

If I were going to be in a live boxing match, I would first text someone "might let the other guy win tonight. he needs this more than I do" and then post the screenshot of that message if I lost

just had the thought "if i were you i would go ahead and eat lunch" what do you mean IF you were me. who are you if not me

"shocked pikachu"? not gonna be very effective. pikachus are resistant to electricity. lol.

i don't care about your little inside jokes. shut the fuck up and talk about ExpressVPN

loudly sighing and drying my hands off mid-dishwashing to fast forward the podcast to the next Betterhealth Ad-read

i listen to stuff that faintly plays through a DCOM character's headphones when their mom is yelling at them

watched the new tubi goosebumps movie and liked the end credits song. looked it up and the artist's name is "Lyrical Female Vox" the song is from the album "Mysterious Pop 3" and can be downloaded from the website "Royalty Free Music Cheap"

welcome to spooky things from the internet

- this mario fan game slowly becomes corrupted as you progress

- this is a photo that a couple took while on vacation. when they uploaded it to facebook, commenters noticed a strange figure lurking behind them

- here's a video of a guy dying in a fire

Text exchange: Sender: Hey this is Jake from doordash I'm on my way Receiver: I didn't order anything from doordash Sender: I didn't say you did? Receiver: you're right i'm sorry Sender: No worries be there in 5 Sender: *picture of front door* Let me in

does anyone have advice for being more assertive in situations like this?

A screenshot of a reddit comment exchange: ms-paint-sonic: I got a ticket for going 20 miles under the speed limit yesterday :( spyro-64: LMFAO you are SUCH an unhinged chaos gremlin and I am so here for it ms-paint-sonic: please don't say shit like that to me

A Facebook post from Oakview Watch that says: ROADSIDE REBECCA SPOTTED WALKING ALONGSIDE RED LEAF ST. BE CAREFUL IF YOU ARE DRIVING TONIGHT Comments: Jake Jenkins: My big cousin almost hit her once. He is single and christian Meryl Russel: How big is he Meryl Russel: How big is your cousin

A reddit comment exchange: depressedgokux200: you've been stood up DOZENS of times? StraightCoded: yeah it's called putting yourself out there and getting rejected before you even get the chance to prove that you're worth being loved (cry laugh emoji) ms-paint-sonic: do you need someone to talk to StraightCoded: yes

A discord screenshot exchange: lindsayissleepy: Ok but you have to move here first lindsayissleepy: It's getting embarassing telling people that my best friend is from Canada lunargghost: i'm from california lindsayissleepy: that is the same thing

Here's 4 images from my new video go watch The Web Watchers

I got to narrate this! Working on dustin's stuff is so fun. he captures the patois of specific online subcultures so well, it feels like you're really seeing something from another world. check it out babey cause it rules

No one writes funny inane internet comments better than dustin Couch.

(there is 1 jumpscare but it happens pretty much when you're expecting it to)

thanks to @skullmandible.bsky.social for narrating

i made a new screenshot story here's the first minute

the other minutes are on youtube:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfjT...

look what you did. i tapped the sign as hard as i could. like from the simpsons. but you didn't listen

remember when there would be a guy on a nintendo forum who joined in Feb 2001 with 54k posts and a Dark Link sig and he would be mean to you for being new and you would desperately hope to one day be as cool as him but deep down you knew that you would always be marked with that Apr 2007 join date

sorry. going through some stuff

fruit loops might as well all be the same color they dont even fucking try

wait if a p flipped upside down that would get it further away from a 9. i fucked up so bad here

the fourth p slowly flips upside down and rotates until it forms a 9

😡

the reason you shouldn't yell "fire" in a theater is because i am trying to watch a movie