Michael Beck

wish i could be cool and mysterious but unfortunately i can't shut the fuck up

Really important to stress that the Crown Jewels of the US higher education system were never the Ivies or elite SLACs (other countries have equivalents of these) but the well-funded, large, cheap, and excellently staffed public state university systems bringing high quality education to the masses.

I think any story about Trump's autocracy should be mostly about the people and institutions who failed to stop it. This guy isn't a political genius, everything else just happens to be rotten. 'Toddler Consolidates Power In Household' is a story about incompetent parents, not shrewd maneuvering

I am never more in my element than when talking about something absolutely nobody cares about.

You never heard of this fucking guy six weeks ago. Six weeks! Just get another Guy!!

Look around. There's a Guy. Over there, another Guy. Now turn around...Guys. What do you think is around that corner? You guessed it: More Guys.

“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

Supermajority in the VA House maybe but the entire VA Senate won’t be up for election until 2027

we are in the Age of Enlightenment but for absolute dimwits

A grim reminder: these people will never be satisfied. There’s no point at which they will say “we’ve won, let’s enjoy life.” They will always be looking for someone else to punish, to revile, to dehumanize. They’re empty without that.

i would prefer to not live in uppercase H History

It's simple: we monetize crying

I don’t know why the scientists keep making them!

Melania Trump has a warning for humanity: “the robots are here”

Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people’s medicine for fuel.

making college free as a means to harness educational polarization

*Egbert being our favorite resident on Animal Crossing

Trump take Egbert

It’s way down the list of Actual
Concerns I Have About America, but I do hate the Kremlinology we engage in about our leaders now. I wish that journalism wasn’t so broken.

I hate being middle aged so much!

The mental health benefits of not knowing any history right now must be massive. Moving through your day with total equanimity. What happens next? Who knows? Maybe something good

What a burden to be old enough to know who Dean Cain is

Ed, you’re a goddamned National treasure.

ME, TENTING FINGERS ACROSS TBE TABLE: I am going to build a “Cracker Barrel of the mind”

MARC ANDREESSEN: Here is $50,000,000,000

“I gave my life to Christ in the Cracker Barrel parking lot!”

“The poor, they’re always with us, with their lackluster LinkedIns”

It is also your homestead until we’re both overrun by all of these colossal corn plants

Homesteading proceeds as expected