PARK RANGER: to be a guide you need to be able to name all the animals

ME: no problem

[later with a tour group]

ME: that’s Greg, & that's Sydney…

Life is better with books.

prepare for carbonated trouble

Sometimes I think about how makeup was invented, like one day some early human smeared some mud around their eyes and stepped into just the right light and everyone else was like okay, Grog, go off

a woman in a lab coat and blue gloves is flexing her arms . ALT: a woman in a lab coat and blue gloves is flexing her arms .

The 31 going on 80 pipeline is very real. #Jeopardy, #Crosswords, and #NCIS are on my top 5 list of joy bringers this year.

Got a little snow in Texas today! #Texas #GoBills @buffalo-bills.bsky.social

Just started watching The Sopranos after dinner + reading Harry Potter before bed. The #2000s #nostalgia is off the charts in our household ✨ #millenial

'How Bad For The Environment Can Throwing Away One Plastic Bottle Be?' 30 Million People Wonder

'How Bad For The Environment Can Throwing Away One Plastic Bottle Be?' 30 Million People Wonder
theonion.com/how-bad-for-...

RE: cats

0-1 years old: kitten
1-28 years old: little baby

Day 7 AF! Pumped to try #KinEuphorics and #hiyo soon! #SoberSky

A priest a teacher and a rabbit enter a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit what is your blood type.

The rabbit replied "I'm probably a Type-O"

someone asked what i would do for a klondike bar and i said i would eat a klondike bar for a klondike bar and now i’m on my 347th klondike bar oh god please make it stop

Taking myself more seriously in 2025 has started with 5 days AF!! Very excited to see where this takes me 🎉 #SoberSky #Reframe

Someone shared this with me, and I think it's beautiful. That's what I wish for everyone I love and appreciate in this New Year 2025, that your life is filled with an abundance of real luxuries. ❤️

Black and white photo of a shiny black tuxedo kitten standing next to a record player on a floor, watching the spinning disk very intently.

She grew up to be the most powerful wedding DJ in the tri-state area. Photo from my collection, ca. 1950s.

Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M. -The Onion

Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.
theonion.com/man-says-fuc...

True luxury is found in the simplest moments.

them: why did you pick the lock

italians: gnocchi

fuck it, wanna grab some coffee and then spend the afternoon at the museum?

Tired of reading annoying recipe blog fluff? Well this is your annual pre-holiday reminder that if you add “cooked.wiki/“ before any recipe URL (type it in before the http:// part) it gives you a condensed no-nonsense version of that recipe including only the ingredients and instructions!

Just a reminder for anyone out shopping for me today…I do not want ANY birds for Christmas this year. I don’t care if you can get 2 turtle doves for the price of 1 or if there’s a 4AM door-buster deal on French hens. Zero birds. None birds.

I’m on my way home for Thanksgiving and my route on Google maps has turned an unknown shade of dark dark red and I’m terrified

Painting named “Trust issues”

Some favorite 35mm shots from Galway + Killarney #Ireland #Travel

a cartoon of a cat carrying a bag of groceries next to another cat ALT: a cartoon of a cat carrying a bag of groceries next to another cat

New favorite hobby: taking hot girl mental health walks (me moseying around every aisle at #HEB)

I don't trust people who can fall asleep immediately and sleep through the night. How?!

Only a matter of time until we get an elf on the shelf horror movie

Here’s your morning mood, courtesy of Pil Hwa.

Just a reminder that there’s an app available for your TV called PBS RETRO where you can watch all sorts of wonderful old pbs shows like Mr. Rogers and Reading Rainbow, you know, in case you might need that sort of energy right now