The Tweeter Formerly Known as akachela

this episode of SNL:
-awful cold open
-terrible attempt at olympics hockey redemption
-cheap heated rivalry laughs
-the Mumford and sons guy is clearly on ozempic
-wait, is that
HOLY SHIT, HOZIER???

Broke: drunk dialing your ex and leaving sad voicemails
Woke: drunk dialing congresspeople and cussing them out

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

Operation Le Epic Bacon Fury

Calvin's dad was always a real one

just circling back...

that top DOD officials spent the entire day feuding with a tech company and the boy scouts before launching a war in the middle of the night should probably inform your opinion about how well planned and executed this will be

Lmfao not the IG algorithm giving me the videos from BOTH people on the stair masters on either side of RFK Jr

Me but with my long hair and unfortunately the older I get I am too sweaty for that

I don't know what the hell "The Traitors" show is, it's suddenly everywhere and it's on S4?! Sorry, I'm officially old, I refuse to learn

They're never beating the "the right has one joke" allegations

Just uncancel Blue Bloods then this is not rocket science

All the comments on IG are like "this is going to offend so many people!" And it's like...the pronoun joke wasn't offensive, it was fucking stupid

Are we not doing phrasing any more

The author of the article clearly got his facts about Albania (never under Stalin’s rule) and the Soviet Union by asking ChatGPT “how would Ronald Reagan describe the USSR,” but the highlight to me is this random Buffalo woman hanging a “Bills Mafia” flag and confusing/scaring her neighbors.

Gmail will put legit emails in spam but once let through 5 variations of "ENDURANCE ⭐️ AUTO ⭐️ INSURANCE" in one day to my inbox

Maybe I'm a little ~*~sensitive~*~ but don't like today's NYT Strands in the context of our current Epstein files pedophile bullshit reality. Can't say more without spoiling the answers but wouldn't be surprised if I wake up and it's pulled

so this whole "the economy will collapse because AI can book your flights so now no one can DoorDash" is such an asinine surface level view of the economy that I refuse to entertain it

another client was a pump manufacturer and their workers were "essential" because they made pumps for pharmaceutical manufacturing and water treatment plants

I did social media for an ad agency when covid hit, part of the safe WFH "laptop class." I was still stressed as fuck the entire year, because one of my biggest clients was the primary servicer for unemployment systems in several states and they were NOT prepared

2020 taught me that the average person has no regard for how the supply chain or ripple effects actually work

I read the report (it's fucking stupid) and the entire thing is "corn comes from a can" energy but make it modernly stupid

I would have taken a Golden Corral over that spread

They wanted me to post pics to social media and I was like "uhhh not a good look!" The food sat for an hour while they arranged it all and gave speeches. The whole office STUNK of McD's. I didn't want any but my boss told me I had to "to be a team player" so I ate the worst hash brown of my life

I used to work for an agency that had a tradition of getting shitfaced at the local awards ceremony and then leadership would buy a McDonald's "buffet" the next morning. The first time I experienced this was like a week after Trump's first infamous spread

Dumped him miles from home after dark in BUFFALO in February along the Niagara River. Doubt they gave him a jacket. Homicide by the elements.

Only ~$50 for me but I got new windows. I was actually flat on therms from last month and ~20 therms less than last year so it was all just charging my car more often in the cold. I'm gonna start working from the library and using the free town chargers lol

My dad and grandma both have had multiple mohs surgery for basal cell. Noooo thank you

just saw an IG comment of someone saying skin cancer isn't caused by the sun but by "seed oils, carcinogenic meats, processed sugar, GMO wheat, big pharma, and alcohol" and someone else replied "girl if all those cause cancer then how are the Rolling Stones still alive" ☠️