Christo Mephisto

Just chugged four Monster Viking Berries while building LEGOs and I have to imagine this is what doing crank in an IKEA feels like.

#Drake got shot on Degrassi, but he was murdered at the #SuperBowl.
#notlikeus #kdot #kendricklamar

“Hated the Halftime show! I couldn’t understand what he was saying!” said the generation who keeps The Rolling Stones touring. #kendricklamar

Getting Booed (Taylor’s Version)

Super Bowl LIX? More like Super Bowl SUX, amirite?!?
Haha up top.

“Have you ever run a business?”
Lolololol
Yeah. It was called “America.”

Whoever invented those Dip or Squeeze Heinz ketchup packets deserves oral sex on-demand for the rest of their natural lives.

The Germans didn’t call them concentration camps, either.

-How to get a ticket-
Cop: Where were you going in such a hurry?
Me: Your mom sent out a group text and I wanted to be first in line.

Don't wake up every day and choose violence.
Make violence the default setting.

The number of ppl who voted Trump and regret it is wild. As with any common affliction, this deserves a good acronym. I propose T.rump U.mbrage and R.egret D.isorder, or TURD. Are you or any of your loved ones TURDs? There’s hope! Stop making selfish decisions in the future, assuming we’ll have one.

#ImpeachTrump #FireElonMusk

PLEASE come to Louisville. ❤️

MAGA: We can call mountains and water anything we want!
Also MAGA: I refuse to call you by the name you chose.

These are the good guys supporting DEI. Reward them with your business.

Costco
Meijer
Kroger
Giant Grocery
Ben & Jerry’s
Ulta, Macy’s
Old Navy
Nordstrom’s
TJ Maxx
GoTo Foods ( Moe’s Southwest Grill, Mcalister’s, Auntie Anne’s, Jamba, Cinnabon…)
Dollar Tree
Walgreens
Wegmans

These brownies are supposed to be “two bite,” but I’m efficient. And fat.

"My heart goes out to you" has become the new "Let's go Brandon," but now accompanied w/ a gesture. As they didn't have the courage to say "Fuck Joe Biden," they also won't say "Sieg heil." But coded or not, it means the same thing and should be answered swiftly, accordingly, and without mercy.

From the Jan 15 issue of 'Proclaim!' a local Christian bulletin they put out at my Laundromat. Exactly what we've been saying about the Christian Nationalists all along.

I need to make something very clear:
I WANT Trump to do well. I WANT him to be a successful president who champions the values Americans hold dear: Equality. Opportunity. Prosperity. Freedom.
To hope for less would be hypocritical and unpatriotic.
I just don't think he's capable.