Jessica 🎀

a cartoon character with red hair is screaming with a disney logo behind him ALT: a cartoon character with red hair is screaming with a disney logo behind him

Going on day 2 with no meds because I can’t get my pharmacy to get it together. Anyways. Starting to feel like Donnie from the Wild Thornberrys. So that’s promising for the day.

Karma really got me this morning. I was joking yesterday about calling off & then at 3am I get hit with a migraine so bad I can’t stop throwing up. Then had to call in. 💀 IT WAS A JOKE, UNIVERSE!

Tell me why I’m filling out this bracket for work *disclaimer I have no idea what I’m doing* so as I was saying, filling it out & im out here unknowingly singing “damn Alabama you a tramp Alabama” lmaooo what is wrong w me.

How old am I?!? Well I’ll give you some clues, I’m going to bed tonight with tiger balm on my back, a heating pad & my elevated leg pillow 😵‍💫

I’m probably not even funny but the way I have my coworkers gut laughing every single day has me on cloud 9. Yall can’t tell me shit #imhilarious #extremelyunhinged #butfunny

I know I look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m dying because I haven’t checked my island on Hello Kitty Island Adventure in over 24hrs. I know I missed tons of goodies 😭

God, NOT NOW JA RULE

Yesterday I was beefing w my 9yo pug. Today I’m obsessed, looking at pictures of her & squealing because she’s so dang cute…..this feels toxic 😂😭

It’s storming like crazy here and Ruby got so startled from some thunder that she got up & forced herself in my arms. It’s just kind of healing being the one that someone comes for comfort in scary situations 😭🫶🏻

all that you can’t leave behind 🫶🏻

More value studies from the archives. #drawing #ohiotattooers #columbustattooers #alwayshanddrawn

These bitches of #rhoslc have me crying along with them!! This reunion is just so good & such a good season! #bravo #realhousewives

OOOOOOH I CANNOT WAIT 🙀 #rhoc

It’s the used loofah for me 😂😂😭😭😭💀💀

I just found out one of the PAs I work with is a housewives fan. & I learned that when she called something “gone with the wind fabulous” ✨ I love these little moments in the insane community 😂 #bravo #realhousewives #notwellbitch

My social battery has been drained since about 10am today. And I still have 2.5 hours left of work. #ineedamiracleeveryday

Point break 🤌🏻

@cheeniebeanie.bsky.social said I love you first on the phone today so you know I’m riding this high all day lol

OOOOOOF this did not age well….AT ALL 💀

I have to be starting my period soon. I am sobbing at a video of Elmo & Andrew Garfield lol

One of my fav things is bartending at home for my guests. I don’t wanna drink but are you sure you don’t want an old fashion?! A spicy marg with a tajin rim?!

Working the day after Christmas is criminal.

I am very much okay with it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Actually, do. Because then she will put you on her plan & upgrade you to no adds 😂

I mean…..are we surprised lol

I could really use a 3 week paid vacation right about now 🥴

Tis time 🎄🥰

No, you can’t be my best friend. That’s @cheeniebeanie.bsky.social because she knows my ENTIRE lore. Do you know how long that would take to explain to anyone else?!?

Honestly I just try to compliment as many strangers as I can. The way they light up when you take the time to notice something & then point it out. Really makes their day but little do they know i do it for selfish reasons. It makes me feel good to make someone else feel good.