austin crabbe

Can't stop oiling up my roof. Once you start it's a slippery slope

this is fucked

leftist fitness influencer called Communal Gains Strats

bro if it's the world series why didn't they invite you cause you're my world bro

the video being projected behind all the performers on stage

lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight

kids these days are too woke to kill their brothers to claim the sultancy

I don't really get Sam Fender

I ate two airwaves gums today,
To see if I still feel

I'd love to wander into the forest and become a tree for 18-36 months

Someone give me a job please

What I bring to the table:

-Often awake before noon
-Strong, healthy thumbs
-Adept at talking about the weather and how quickly it's come about
-Spreadsheets with such tabs as Sheet1 and Sheet1 (2)

ICE attempted
and failed to disappear a food delivery guy.
It needed to be scored.

Spider-Man asking dinosaur mad scientist Sauron why he is using his 170 seat majority to constantly fuck up instead of fixing Britain and Sauron saying that’s the way he likes it

If I speak...

"are you going to be a heckin pupper for me?"

How the fuck did they bag the WIFI ticker code

Beth Ditto saying "nope, do not tell me, I don't want to know, I don't do social media" in response to being told how excited people are online that she's on radio 6 is maybe the healthiest thing I've ever heard

imagine getting qt dunked by ed davey. unrecoverable. you’re furious and he is serenely going down a log flume in bognor regis.

YouTube video by GANS.BRUM. GANS - NIGHTWALKING

if you're near any of these you simply must, they're lovely boys
youtu.be/M3S-b-FUNsU

A 'drop everything to see' band announcing a local date when I'm already seeing a 'drop everything to see' band 😔

the sense of relief opening tiktok and seeing that my favourite geezer on there spent Saturday polishing his wife's car

me deciding to go shopping at 15:45 on a sunday

I can't control it, a gift and a curse in equal measure

creams of the scone age

Full marks on the eye test and I didn't even revise

fuck that fucking doctor "go out tonight and see a great clown" fuck you that man needed antidepressants

PANEL 1: MATTIE is talking to a MAN as they walk on the street. The MAN is typing on his phone. MATTIE: What do you wanna do tonight? MAN: Hmm…! MAN: What…do…I…want…to…do…tonight? PANEL 2: MATTIE rolls her eyes. The phone pipes up as well. MATTIE: Are you asking a chatbot? Come on. PHONE: SEEING FRIENDS IS ALWAYS A GREAT WAY TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS. MAN: Oh, are you A.I. SHAMING ME? Wow. I didn't think you were a bigot. PANEL 3: MATTIE, arms spread wide. The MAN strokes his chin. MATTIE: What? Nobody was doing this a year ago. It's completely unnecessary! MAN: Huh, that's true. I wonder why that happened. PANEL 4: The MAN types on his phone, brow furrowed. MAN: Why…am…I…doing…this

AI shaming | patreon.com/lubchansky

Exclusive: Labour sources report that the government is looking into age verification for soggy porn mags in bushes and woodlands.
Conflicting rumours on whether the ban will include discarded dvds.

I fear it may be revealing too much about my childhood to share that coke lime tastes like bubble liquid

still kinda mad about the guy at a charity Pay What You Want raffle who bought multiple tickets and then won multiple times because he was the only person who did