P-Chops

Undersea Lair alert: Shark attack underway

Once again, non-compliant sharks are attacking the lair's pressurized hull. But I wanted to remind all executives that it's 94% shark proof so we're pretty much in the clear! 🦈 #safetyfirst #shark #UnderseaLair

Slide with a charred landscape saying "The Surface" * Hassles * Charred Hellscape * Broken Dreams

I want to get serious for a bit here, executives. We've checked, and determined that living on the surface of the earth is no longer tenable (charred hellscape, broken dreams, etc.). Fortunately we offer luxury accommodations to all compliant executives in our massive #UnderseaLair! You're welcome!

As another arbitrary time period passes in our luxurious undersea lair, I want to remind all executives--you!--that compliance with my every whim is the path to luxury. No worries about that though--just press the "comply" button on the console in your executive suite and you're good to go! 🐿️✨

A very deep "sunken conversation pit" interior surrounded by a library. People sit around tables on wraparound couches a staircase down from floor level.

Executives! If you're looking for "deep" conversation in our massive undersea facility? We have the deepest sunken conversation pit in any sunken location. It's stylish, has open bar service, and provides executives such as yourselves with a plush setting for all of your deepest thoughts! 🐿️✨

A depiction of an orange buoy in the open ocean, with a sunrise in the background.

Our surface buoy is located in an undisclosed location in international waters--perfect spot to board the luxurine and descend the 5000m to our secret undersea facility. We'll literally roll out an actual red carpet for you, and provide you with a complimentary cheese plate. Prepare for luxury! 🐿️✨

An AI-generated concept drawing of a cyborg squirrel plushie with a cybernetic eye and other modifications

OFFICIAL MEMO: Executives! As the CEO of the #UnderseaLairProject I appreciate all 1500+ of you, and so I'm giving each one of you a #SqueaksTheSquirrel plushie, commemorating the series of cyborg squirrel clones we've created at the #SqueaksTechnologyLaboratory. Luxury is yours! 🐿️🤖✨

Executives! Just reminding everyone that the Undersea Lair is not for sale--we're not sponsored by anything, even delicious Polar® 🚰🐿️✨

Executives! If you'd rather be 5000m underwater in an undisclosed location than living on the surface of the earth, have I got good news for you! Our luxury facility is located deep underwater near a hydrothermal vent, giving us endless energy to power your opulent lifestyle. #comply #brainwipe

Executives! Surface weather got you down? Weather in the #UnderseaLair is fully climate controlled and you can set it to anything you want! All you have to do is comply with my every whim and we'll send the helicopter to pick you up. #Luxury 🚁✨

the interior of a ficticious luxury submarine or "Luxurine", featuring comfortable couches, beverage service, and picture windows through which sharks are visible

Executives! Here at the Undersea Lair Project we believe that luxury begins the moment our helicopter picks you up on the surface. That's why the luxurine in which you descend the 5000m to the lair is outfitted with every possible amenity. Plus it's 94% shark proof! #Luxury #Submarine 🐿️✨

A set of three questions presented by an AI assistant: What ethical considerations might be involved in creating cyborg squirrels? How might these squirrels be trained to perform their tasks in the undersea lair? What would happen if one of these cyborg squirrels escaped into the ocean?

Using AI to help plan the #UnderseaLair. It's asking too many questions

... and eventually it ends up in my executive suite at the top level of the lair

A powerpoint slide entitled "surface to abyssal plain coolness graident" with a diagram of the ocean showing how it's "cooler" on the bottom than at the surface, which is "gross"

The Undersea Lair Project's science labs developed the coolometer, and coolometric profiles of the ocean water column have reveaed an effect where the surface is totally gross and the bottom of the ocean is cool dot gif 😎 #UnderseaLuxury

living on the surface of the earth (rather than, say, in a secret undersea lair at an undisclosed location in international waters) is increasingly untenable

What if there was a conversation pit that had more than one level so as you go further downstairs the conversations get deeper and deeper

A cyborg squirrel emerges from a space-time portal in an urban alley

Update: no squirrels were harmed in the Squeaks Technology Laboratory's trial space-time portal to the surface

Strange Bubble Results is one of the Undersea Lair's more popular robot bands

Boy, it sure is great being at this undisclosed location in international waters

#surfacehassles

Executives! It's a brand new arbitrary time period 5000m below the surface, and time to reflect on what we've achieved here in the Undersea Lair Project. With opulent luxury, frequent brain wipes, personal cyborg assistants, and round-the-clock open bars, we're thankful af! 🐿️🦃✨!comply

Why get a brain wipe, you ask? I already explained it to you during the last brain wipe 🐿️✨

brb using crack right now

Cats with lasers, goats with lasers, ... everything. With lasers.

I would watch that, old friend. I'm on Twitch and there are great electronic music communities there I can help you connect with. With lasers. twitch.tv/p_chops

YouTube video by The Undersea Lair Project Executive Brain Wipe Program Debriefing with P-Chops 2024/11/25

Executives! Now that this evening's brain wipe is complete, it's time for a debriefing from Undersea Lair Project CEO P-Chops.

If you think living on the surface of the earth is nothing but hassles, you're not alone. In fact, you're one of over 1500 executives at the Undersea Lair Project, and thanks to the brain wipe you're experiencing right now, you'll soon be living in luxury in our deep-ocean facility! 🐿️✨