tonight

smockin

no better time to find out if moral skepticism is self refuting than 12:59 AM

just dissected this little freak’s stomach because i lost a ring and he was the first to blame.

they’re saying lounging in a leather chair under lamplight reading a good book is coming back in a major way

when i met lil baby i already had four pockets full 🫃

roomba remotes should have a button where they kill themselves

in this black prada shirt this mother freaker hard huh

i know way too many squidwards here right now that i didn’t know last year. who the kelp are y’all.

back in college i used to smoke
with this theatre major sometimes and anytime he'd hit it he'd say something weird like “uh oh hope this isn't the gay blunt" and then ten minutes later he'd have his arm around you

when i have to kill the roomba because i feel like it ☹️

feeling like steph the way i cooked up this curry for lunch

(armed militia swarms my house and demands i exit with my hands up in russian)

i got me some fedex i got me some cake! i got me some ups i got me a freight!

utopia is good 👽

when the wood hits back

at my oppenheimer screening saying shit like “boom shakalaka! that’s gotta hurt!” during the bomb dropping scenes

do NOT get the california burrito from the Crazy Tacos food truck in DTLA

i got benjamin button disease so many benjamins can’t button my jeans

𝘙𝘦-𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘛𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘢 𝘉𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘚𝘬𝘺 7,627 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴.

i’ll think about posting on threads the day they allow me to advocate for e**n m**k getting done in the middle of broad daylight

granny seen my cup i done lied said it’s prune juice 😣 i threw the deuce sign when i blew through 🚙💨

feel like a proud dad when i watch youtube 😏 i even had some CEOs copy my moves 🕺🏼

the author of this post is upset that they spent $50 on two sandwiches and coffees in Los Angeles, California. The figure in the image is consumed in shadows and shows a sinister expression.

fifty dollars for two poorly made lattes and breakfast sandwiches. LA is the greatest city on the planet.

whole foods is the vibe when grocery shopping is the mood

diablo 4 so good i just finished the campaign and started jumpin up and down

i would consider myself a compassionate and understanding roommate but this guy really just cracked open my martinellis and drank half of it without asking. i’m sharpening my blade for our duel tomorrow. never touch a man’s apple juice.

listening to Skyrim - Music & Ambience (10 Hours) while i work my corporate WFH job drinking a $5.75 coffee smacking tf outta this icy mint flum. these are the luxuries they want to take away from you.

(opening infinite jest and flipping through the pages carefully)

ahh now where were we