Butt Milk Mousetrap

1775. An editor comes into work on Christmas eve to find a manuscript on his desk. The title: A HISTORY OF PYRATES by Charles Johnson. (We have no budget so we’ll say the editor is played by Michael Stuhlbarg).

Senator Cory Booker concludes his record-breaking Senate Floor speech after 25 hours

Massive applause for Booker

a possum in a wizard outfit saying I pay my own bills I can cuss all I want

fyi

That Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary, "Pumping Iron." Holy shit.

Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"

hello sharks today i am here asking for you to stop hunting me for sport

the original headline being written in cum is really distracting me

If you don’t like me at my “old-timey mid-Atlantic newspaper gal speedtalk chatter” you can’t have me at my “drags on a cigarette then pauses to savor the smoke before slowly uttering a syllable”

Kid Rock makes music for people who know exactly how much Sudafed you can buy with a stolen catalytic converter

RFK Jr killed Samoa's kids and he's coming after ours

App icon for Duolingo.

App icon for Xiaohongshu, AKA RedNote.

Duolingo reports a 216% increase for users learning Mandarin Chinese in the U.S. following a transition from TikTok to Xiaohongshu, also known as “RedNote.”

I will not be listening to Carrie Underwood’s music due to her agreement to appear at Trump’s inauguration.

This replaces my prior reason for not listening to her music: it’s not good

Little late to notice this shit, JOE.

Kennedy’s Lawyer Has Asked the F.D.A. to Revoke Approval of the Polio Vaccine Aaron Siri, who specializes in vaccine lawsuits, has been at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s side reviewing candidates for top jobs at the Department of Health and Human Services.

i am convinced that these people are death worshippers who want to spread as much disease and sickness as possible (i also think this is all tied up in eugenic beliefs about the “survival of the fittest” www.nytimes.com/2024/12/13/h...

SIMPLY HAVING A

Had to tell my republican aunt that I left Twitter for Bluesky bc of Elon's crazy ass privacy policies and not because I want to live in an echo chamber 🙃🫠
#Thanksgiving

Since Nancy Mace is in the news, I'll post the one thing that was enjoyable about my time on Twitter:

SJM will do whatever it takes to write the existence of Uggs into her stories and if that's not peak cheugy, idk what is 💙📚

I hadn't even thought about that 😭 I'm about to be hootin AND hollerin

That's the one I'm using! I love the way it reads, it's just a little tedious. I'm about halfway through now

Just found a FULL bottle of dry shampoo when I thought i was out. Sometimes life is beautiful

Thomas the tank engine with a butt

New goal: ensure that at least ONE contrarian bore with a prestige media job writes a scolding column about Bluesky that mentions the train with a butt

It's my first time and I love the way it reads! It gets a little tedious at times but I think it's worth it!

I'm behind too! I'm currently tandem reading Tower of Dawn and Empire of Storms by SJM and listening to the Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. What about you?

Yesss!! 1000%. At first I was skeptical bc it felt cheap to be like "oh BTW there's another group of flying creatures that would be perfect to fight the wyverns" but I definitely got on board with it after a while

The way I GASPED 😂 Honestly, love that for you. You are who I want to be when I grow up lmao I'm too afraid to miss anything!!

I actually love how it's reading but oml I get so frustrated keeping track of everything (I'm using ebooks so maybe physical books would be better). And I will put up with all of Chaol's bs for Yrene. Love her sm

I think the tandem read works really well, it's just so much work to juggle. I was definitely afraid that I would get bored with ToD but I'm actually super into it! The healing aspect of magic is super cool to me 🤓

So I am currently completing a tandem read of Empire of Storms and Tower of Dawn bc it was recommended but I feel like it is SO tedious to flip back and forth at the right time. 💙📚 any thought? #SJM #booksky