Jeff Schwartz

Year of the Whores

This is just so awful.

"It's twenty feet as the crow farts."

Chinese tea shop owner who bosses everyone around and solves murders. Yes, please.

The Rose Bowl pre-empted my Jeopardy! episode so let it rain. #StillBitter

A screenshot from Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give you up music video

A screenshot from Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give you up music video

A screenshot from Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give you up music video

A photograph of the seminary gym in knives out. It has the same window.

Just watched the new Knives Out and I think it's really important you know that the scene in the Seminary's Gym is filmed in the same place Rick Astley filmed the music video for Never Gonna Give You Up.

I saw the window tracery and immediately made my friends pause the film so I could tell them.

It's the most good and bad and both time of year.

Right? It had its moments, but that wasn't an encouraging preview.

No lies, but I am glad we got a moment with Mike White. I did think that Ozzy was Shambo from behind.

I needed good news this morning, thanks!

Hulu has been trying to get me to finish watching Shrill forever.

Aw, "fatuous farts" makes them sound cute.

Me in a typical class: "Give me any whole two-digit number."
My class: (silence)

Me in today's class: "When is the next exam?" (I told them the date last week.)
My class: "The 16th!" "The 11th!" "The 13th!" "The 12th!"

If the Wandoff were still around on #RHAP I assume someone would do "No Hugs."

Thank you for saying what the problem is, Rabbi Buchdahl.
Zohran Mamdani has helped to mainstream antisemitism. Willful ignorance and tokenism don’t change the facts.

Oh! WOW.

I listened to the start of your podcast with Pooya to spoil myself and I didn't understand the first twist you were describing at all. I don't want to spoil it here...

YUP. I'm glad they don't assign me the computer programming courses anymore, since the students have already figured out how to get AI to do it for them.

ESB: Tonight, our lights will shine Yellow to celebrate the return of Israeli hostages and hopes for a lasting peace 💛🎗️

Live Cam: esbo.nyc/Peace 🇮🇱

And just like that you're the best again. ;{)}

If only she hadn't said she hated my birthday on RHAP, she'd be perfect. ;{P}

Jimmy Fallon Plans to ‘Keep My Head Down’ and Avoid Politics on ‘The Tonight Show’: ‘We Hit Both Sides Equally’ Jimmy Fallon says he plans to "keep my head down" and avoid politics on "The Tonight Show."

Fucking disgusting variety.com/2025/tv/news...

@kimreed.bsky.social I love listening to you and you watch the same reality trash I watch, but the Sandra Diaz-Twine erasure was painful this morning.

OMG! Very funny.

I said "Jodi?" all three times!

Every time a Mastermind was about to be revealed I said, "Jodi?" #bb27

I lived in the UK for 2-1/2 years in the '90s and I still couldn't explain anything to my partner.

"Um...flapjacks...I know they served them in the cafeteria ('canteen') at work...oaty squares...or something..."

Does a liberal shit have Tylenol in it?

"Are you sure? Are you sure?"