Horny and Nervous, Story of an Accountant

Yes I know it might be pee

No I do not care

If I buy you a new hitachi will you please squirt in my mouth

I was lucky enough to talk to Sara Jay at Exxxotica. Really happy to hear her advocate for consumer privacy, as the ID laws for viewing porn in certain states are becoming more popular.

Like full-on, IRL session with edging/denial/JOI/facesitting and being reminded that I’m an ass licker that needs to work to make her happy. Remind me how much better it is to lick asshole than to inhale air.

Things I need in 2025:
(1) a gorgeous woman to make worship her ass
(2) the same woman lets me cum under threat of being turned in to her toilet and made drink her piss while she stares in my eyes

I saw @carissmadeluca.bsky.social at Exxxotica and she smiled at me. I was too nervous to talk to her, I hope she didnt think I was being rude.

Because Mia Malkova’s ass when she was a size 2 would make her “curvy” and saying that while calling Karla Lane “curvy” at the same time tells me nothing about either

And because I am a cis-gender male that is willing to learn but hasn’t been educated I am focusing on what I understand is the most accurate description

I don’t believe “fat” is a bad word, but I understand connotations and whatnot. I think describing a woman as “curvy” when size and proportions distinguish her from others is so meaningless.

more plus-sized companions please

PlumperPass fell off. Clint even criticized Scoreland for “remastering” old scenes. Now all too often we get BTS or old content.

Six Dicks of Separation

Someone needs to do six degrees of separation but with politicians and porn stars.

Example: Nancy Mace to Charity Bangs

How can you be UTR after tweeting out a picture of your law degree?

Image description: Josie Qu and Tomie Tang, two asian women with long black hair, are sitting on a burnt orange couch, both girls are dressed in red lingerie. Tomie’s face is close to Josie’s and Josie’s hand is grazing Tomie’s thigh. Tomie has a tattoo on her right knee

Tomie thee stallion @tomiebabydoll
and Josie thee pony are making things official: We’re offering duos 🤠🤠🤠

Who the hell wrote that stuff on McCoy’s Guide?

When the chubby dancers make me fall in love at the strip club 🥰

In an alternate universe Lauren Boebert shot scenes for MomPOV and that’s all most people knew her for doing

Clients always interrupt my goon session to ask me shit like if the settlement they paid is tax deductible.

Miss seeing new content with her. Timing never worked out when I saw her Baltimore ads. And I’m a giant pussy lol.

Not sure her time isn’t heavily monitored given that she was recently incarcerated

I assume all her local doubles involve armpit hair

🚨Tomie posted an ad 🚨

Growing up in a nice and safe suburb with two supportive parents that bought me a car and helped me with college really sheltered me. I credit my upbringing with my neuroticism.

“What if someone finds out?!?”

I always pause and wonder. That’s why I don’t book. Risk-taking is new in my life.

I also hate that Thick Lizzy doesn’t have the same availability as her.

I love that @veronicajasmine.bsky.social tours regularly, I just hate that I can’t see her right now.

A threesome with Karla Lane and Marilyn Mayson wouldn’t solve a single one of my problems except that I haven’t had a threesome with Karla Lane and Marilyn Mayson

And why didn’t Mike Adriano eat Layla Price’s ass?

One guy in Chicago ate Sara Jay’s and she seemed surprised. I’m disappointed whenever I watch a scene and they DON’T lick Sara Jay’s ass. Which is a lot. Way more than should happen with that kind of ass.

I never got an explanation why oral was (often) not reciprocated in Fuck-a-Fan scenes from Immoral Live.