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which is awesome because i have not really been hopeful at all for… a while, in all honesty. it has been so incredibly fucking hard. it sucks to be scared of your own mind. but i made it through so much already and i don’t see it getting worse from here on out. and if it does… psych ward i guess lol

but i think that feeling better physically will probably help, seeing how a large contributor to the breakdown and depressive episode, and i know that having better vitamin D levels has helped me a lot in the past. so. first steps didn’t work but i am feeling more hopeful about this i think

and is in fact making things worse in a lot of ways. i have so many unpleasant side effects from it after raising my dose and in hindsight i don’t think my lower was ever doing much for me at all either. so i’m getting off of it and hopefully will be stable otherwise so that i can try something else

another update that unfortunately is not “i feel all better now” but important anyway. i have been doing every holistic measure possible to get myself feeling better enough to be functional and it’s good that i have because at this point i have accepted that my antidepressant is not helping me

thank you so much!! 💛💛💛

yeah definitely, i have been on a sort of forced mental health break so far this year and it was desperately needed. i hope you can find a way to cope before it gets too bad. take care of yourself as best you can!!

i am SO in the same boat lately. like everything i read says creative hobbies help so much but its so hard to focus when your brain is frying itself

that i have found this book i want to share it because i know so many others out there are in a similar situation and there is no reason not to offer up what has worked for me.

then my system will be able to rest and reset and eventually stop sending out these alerted adrenaline spikes every ten minutes and i can function again. anyway. sorry for this being so long, i just really, Really struggled in january feeling so alone and not finding anything very helpful so now

my nervous system was (and to an extent still is even if i understand it better now) so absolutely fried that i was in a nonstop anxiety attack, afraid of everything and nothing, scared of my own body and not feeling safe in my own home. i am still barely getting through but i know if i keep trying

and so far i have been doing pretty well with her method of not working myself up into that “second fear” and making myself more scared. it probably isn’t for everyone, but in my month of searching for videos and reddit tips and meditations on my own, i di not really find anything else that helped.

an anxiety attack and the rest of it with the uncontrollable “first fear”, adrenaline and stomach sinking and heart clenching, then “second fear” as you become aware of the sensations and think “oh no, not again” and work yourself up with being scared of being scared, really made me understand it

is a porn account and i don’t put a lot of personal details here but this book is so useful and i think it is genuinely enabling me to save my own life. if you deal with anxiety i really recommend it, it was very cheap. a bit dated but pretty easy to get past. the way she describes the beginning of

which i wanted to recommend because it is SO good and has set me on the right path: claire weekes book hope and help for your nerves. it’s about understanding anxiety and anxiety attacks especially after a mental breakdown and has taught me how to stop the spiral before it gets bad. i know that this

update again for everyone, i just wanted to say i am still here and still getting help but it’s still a very slow process. all my medications unfortunately take at least a full month to work and i am not there yet but i am seeing a therapist as well and found another very helpful resource

if you would please consult the graph

Nixx, anthro mix breed canine. Tan fur with pink underbelly color. Dark black/brown hair with acid green highlights/hair dye. She is wearing a baggy white tanktop, black stockings, tan combat boots (unlaced), and spiked collar/armband. She is hugely pregnant, and deep in labor, squatting low as she pushes. Teeth bared, nose wrinkled, sweating and blushing, a mix of strain, exertion, and exhilaration on her face. The slight curve of a smile on the corner of her mouth.

Weird, indulgent Nixx stuff. Oh golly, she PUSHIN'
Saw a pose and just kinda had to borrow aggressively...

Also I REALLY had fun with her face/expressions

(CW: birthy stuff)

#pregnant #pregnancy #labor #birth #Nixx #furry #anthro

people, please take care of yourselves. it’s so much easier to do maintenance on your brain rather than trying to put it back together after it finally just gives up and falls apart. this has genuinely been the most difficult time of my entire life.

small update, i have had a huge number of mental health factors going into this literal nervous breakdown but as it turns out i also had several physical things making it worse. i am getting help and getting slightly better every day. it’s a very slow and painful process to undo this.

thank you en 💛💛💛

it goes hour by hour, feeling better and worse throughout the day, but i am determined to get it together because i have SO much to live for. i do have a ko-fi, and i will link it, but please don’t feel like you need to donate!!

ko-fi.com/A002257V

no one else deserves to be inconvenienced by this and i know that and i’m sorry that i’ve now taken on things i can’t fulfill as fast as i would want to and as fast as i think everyone deserves, but it’s too late to undo it now and all i can do is apologize and try to fix it when i am able to.

right now to give it back (as those payments went to my bank to fix an overdraft that was my fault). i will finish the pieces when i can, if that’s what you still want. i will refund you when i can if that’s what you want. thank you for your patience and understanding. again, i’m really sorry.

i have gone through this before though and had a much harder time seeing all my reasons to live, but this time i know i have a lot to get better for. i saw someone for it yesterday and took a few steps to help the situation. if anyone wants a refund, i will understand, though i don’t have the money

but i just wanted to be completely clear about how bad things truly are for me. it’s definitely been building up for months and months and i didn’t recognize the signs even though in hindsight i don’t know how i didn’t see this coming. every day feels like a fight for survival against my own brain.

wanted to say im so incredibly sorry to the people who commissioned me trying to help me and now i won’t be able to complete these pieces until i feel better because i can’t even bring myself to eat anything most days and i can’t stop crying all the time. i don’t need attention for this or anything

im sorry everyone who commissioned me once again. the physical illnesses i keep facing and seasonal changed and obsessive worries over pets health has manifested as the worst depression i have ever faced to the point of thinking about You Know What. i won’t do it and i am getting help but i just

to everyone who commissioned me i promise i didn't forget and i am so so sorry i haven't made more progress yet i am just. sick so often. holidays where chaotic and then idk i've just had a really messed up health situation for like 4 months and it's just illness after illness

i’m so sorry omg i will try to figure this out right now!!!

smashing my head into the wall. i will get that figured out asap!!!!