Live Weather updates

Weather alert: reality might briefly buffer.

Cloudburst incoming-like regular rain but dramatic and wearing capes.

Tonight's forecast: stars, darkness, and at least one existential revelation.

High chance of temporal anomalies after 3 p.m. Use an older version of yourself for errands.

The moon will be extremely visible tonight. Please don't stare back too long.

Atmosphere in retrograde. Please do not engage.

Winds will shift suddenly, like someone changed their mind mid-sentence.

Today's humidity is clingy. Just... let it down gently.

Mother Nature is freelancing today-expect unpredictable vibes.

Forecast today: sunny, cloudy, rainy, and confused. Basically a group project.

Morning dew has unionized and refuses to evaporate.

Gentle breeze will carry encouraging whispers. Ignore the weird ones.

Clouds extra fluffy today. Please refrain from squeezing them.

Sunbeams will randomly spotlight people. Act natural.

Rainbow reported in the east, slightly crooked but still trying.

Sleet incoming-like snow but aggressive.

Wind chills below zero. Bring layers, maybe a therapist.

Frozen fog this morning, which feels illegal but here we are.

Black ice advisory: it's in a sneaky mood.

Snow flurries today, each flake containing a cryptic message.

Thunderstorms likely, thunder very insecure and overcompensating.

Tornado potential: medium. Tornado

confidence: low.

Storm cell approaching with a strong desire to impress.

Air pressure dropping fast-hold onto your hats, wigs, or identities.

Gale-force winds expected. Everything lightweight should hold onto something emotional.

Today's wildfire smoke will smell faintly of regret and pine.

The sun is operating at 120% power today. Please update your settings.

Fire danger high, but only because the forest has had enough.

Heat wave incoming. The concrete may reach 'freshly baked cookie' temperature.

Red flag warning: the wind is feeling dramatic.