Who knew the grim reaper wore guyliner #JDVance #PopeFrancis

If you haven’t eaten a salad with a fork in each hand, get ready to get drunk with power. Use your new metal claws to form the *perfect* bite each time and tear apart big pieces like you are a lion with its kill. There’s no going back.

Sidebar: ok #handsoff fam- this is a time to teach. When we say BLANTANT MARKET MANIPULATION or RACKETEERING, or hell, 401k. We need to define these terms for those who dont know. Let’s teach when we share why were livid #trumptariffs #madking

Bro the adcouncil’s Black Lives Matter #lovehasnolabels ad gets me everytime. I truly hope it gives the “all lives matter”crowd perspective.

I need more arms for all the signs im bringing to my local #handsoff protest today

So where we are protesting the #tariffs Boston Tea Party style?

About me: I’m a little sweet 🍓 a little spicy 🌶️ and becoming increasingly ungovernable 💖

🎶 I’m easy (ah ah ah ahh) easy like sudden anxiety, (ah ah ah ahh) yeah I’m eaaasy…🎶

Motion to call any epic fuggup #Hegsething #PeteHegseth

Might fug around and send military secrets via text after the bar tonight.

Oh wait they beat me to it? #hegsething #petehegseth #quitbro

One of my Radical Leftist opinions is the government shouldn't be able to deprive anyone of life, liberty, or property without due process of law

me in the shower:

wow that nibble of edible was perfect im not high just chill and functional

moments later

wow we need a study done of people who dont scrub inbetween their toes and evil

Im choosing to think that conversation where fireworks were invented was identical to a #Detroiters brainstorm.

Can we get a split -flap style “burgers eaten” tracker in the White House?

✨Manifesting the scene from Silicon Valley where Gavin gets fired from Hooli to happen to Elon at Tesla.✨

Hear me out- let’s have a do-over election

btw trump and elon, trumps the bottom right?

ok how long until JD Vance starts looking full Pete Wentz emo?

illegal alien elon musk

I’m not saying #eattherich but in the name of “efficiency”

brb learning how to fax rq

To the tune of “Timber”

I’m feelin’ down
I’m swipin Tinderrrrrrr
You better have
Some puppy pics

Question for those in the forestry industry. How often are you singing Kesha’s “Timber” on an average workday?